Wednesday 20th September 2017

Home » Our Catholic Faith » Currently Reading:

Francis’ Dialogue With Engaged Couples . . . A Christian Celebration, Not A Worldly Celebration

February 26, 2014 Our Catholic Faith No Comments

VATICAN CITY (ZENIT) — Here is a translation of Pope Francis’ remarks on February 14, when he met in St. Peter’s Square with some 20,000 young people engaged to be married. He responded to questions posed by three couples. ZENIT News Agency provided the text and did the translation. All rights reserved.

+    +    +

Question 1: The Fear
Of The “Forever”

Holiness, so many today think that to promise faithfulness for the whole of life is too difficult an enterprise; many feel that the challenge to live together forever is beautiful, fascinating, but too demanding, almost impossible. We ask you for your word to enlighten us on this.
The Pope’s response: I am grateful for the testimony and for the question. I shall explain: They sent me the question ahead of time…you understand. And so I was able to reflect and think about a somewhat more solid answer.
It’s important to ask yourselves if it’s possible to love one another “forever.” This is a question that must be asked: Is it possible to love each other “forever”? Today so many people are afraid of making definitive choices. A boy said to his bishop: “I want to become a priest, but only for ten years.” He was afraid of a definitive choice. But it is a general fear, proper [to] our culture. To make choices for life seems impossible. Today everything changes rapidly; nothing lasts long. . . .
And this mentality leads so many who are preparing for marriage to say: “We are together while love lasts,” and then? Greetings and good-bye. . . . And so marriage ends.
But what do we understand by “love”? Is it only a feeling, a psycho-physical state? Of course if it’s this, one cannot build on something solid. But if, instead, love is a relationship, then it’s a reality that grows, and we can also say, by way of example, that it is built as a house. And the house is built together, not by one alone! Here to build means to foster and help growth.
Dear fiancés, you are preparing yourselves to grow together, to build this house, to live together forever. You don’t want to build it on the sand of sentiments that come and go, but on the rock of true love, the love that comes from God. The family is born from this project of love that wishes to grow, as a house is built that is a place of affection, of help, of hope, of support. As the love of God is stable and forever, so we also want the love that founds the family to be stable and forever. Please, we must not let ourselves be conquered by the “culture of the provisional”! This culture that invades everyone today, this culture of the provisional, is not the way!
So, how is this fear of “forever” cured? It’s cured day by day by entrusting oneself to the Lord Jesus in a life that becomes a daily spiritual journey, made up of steps — small steps, steps of joint growth — made up of the commitment to become mature women and men in the faith. Because, dear fiancés, “forever” is not solely a question of duration! A marriage hasn’t succeeded just because it has lasted — its quality is important. The challenge of Christian spouses is to be together and to be able to love each other forever.
There comes to mind the miracle of the multiplication of the loaves: For you also, the Lord can multiply love and give it to you fresh and good every day. He has an infinite supply! He gives you the love that is the foundation of your union and He renews it every day, He reinforces it. And He renders it even greater when the family grows with children.
On this journey, prayer is important and necessary always. He for you and you for Him and all and the two together: Ask Jesus to multiply your love. In the prayer of the Our Father we say: “Give us this day our daily bread.” Spouses can also learn to pray thus: “Lord, give us today our daily love,” because the daily love of spouses is the bread, the true bread of the soul, that which sustains them to go forward. And the prayer: Can we do the test to know if we are able to say it? “Lord, give us today our daily love.”
All together! [Fiancés: “Lord, give us today our daily love”] Once again! [Fiancés: “Lord, give us today our daily love”].
This is the prayer of fiancés and spouses. Teach us to love one another, to will the good for each other! The more you entrust yourselves to Him the more your love will be “forever,” capable of being renewed and it will overcome every difficulty. This is what I thought I wished to say to you, in response to your question. Thank you!

Question 2: To Live Together: The “Style” Of Married Life

Holiness, to live together every day is beautiful, it gives joy and sustains. However, it’s a challenge to be faced. We believe that we must learn to love one another. Is there a “style” of the life of a couple, a spirituality of the everyday that we could learn? Can you help us in this, Holy Father?
The Pope’s response: It’s an art to live together, a patient, beautiful, and fascinating journey. It doesn’t end when you have won each other. Instead, it’s really then that it begins! This daily journey has rules that that can be summarized in the three phrases you have said, phrases which I have repeated so many times to families: permission — that is, “may I,” [can you], as you said — thank you, and excuse me.
“May I — permission?” It is the polite request to be able to enter in the life of another with respect and care. It is necessary to learn to ask: May I do this? Are you happy that we do it this way? That we take this initiative, that we educate the children like this? Would you like us to go out this evening? In sum, to ask permission means to be able to enter with courtesy in the life of others. But hear this well: to be able to enter with courtesy in the life of others.
And it’s not easy, it’s not easy. Sometimes, instead, rather heavy ways are used, like some mountain boots! True love doesn’t impose itself with harshness and aggressiveness. In the Little Flowers of St. Francis, one finds this expression: “Know that courtesy is one of God’s properties…and courtesy is the sister of charity, which extinguishes hatred and preserves love” (chapter 37). Yes, courtesy preserves love. And today in our families, in our world, often violent and arrogant, there is need of much more courtesy. And this can begin at home.
“Thank you.” It seems easy to say this word, but we know it’s not like this….However, it’s important! We teach it to children, but then we forget it! Gratitude is an important sentiment! Once, in Buenos Aires an elderly lady said to me: “Gratitude is a flower that grows in noble earth.” Nobility of soul is necessary for this flower to grow.
Do you remember Luke’s Gospel? Jesus cures ten lepers and then only one returns to say thank you to Jesus. And the Lord says: And where are the other nine? This is true also for us: Are we able to thank? In your relationship, and tomorrow in your married life, it’s important to keep alive the awareness that the other person is a gift of God, and one says thank you for God’s gifts! And in this interior attitude to say thank you to each other for everything. It’s not a kind word to be used with foreigners, to be well-mannered. It’s necessary to be able to say thank you to one another, to go forward well together in your married life.
“Apology.” We make so many errors, so many mistakes in life. We all do. Is there, perhaps, someone here who has never made a mistake? If there is one here, let him raise his hand: a person who has never made a mistake? We all make them! All! Perhaps there’s not a day in which we don’t make some mistake. The Bible says that the just man sins seven times a day. And so we make mistakes….See, then, the need to use this simple word: “Sorry.” In general each one of us is quick to accuse the other and to justify ourselves.
This began with our father Adam, when God asks him: “Adam, have you eaten of that fruit? “I? No! She is the one who gave it to me!” We accuse the other so as not to say “sorry,” “pardon.” It’s an old story! It’s an instinct that is at the origin of so many disasters. Let us learn to acknowledge our errors and to ask for pardon. “I’m sorry if I raised my voice today”; “I’m sorry I passed by without greeting you”; “I’m sorry I was late,” “if this week I’ve been so silent,” “if I’ve talked too much without ever listening”; “I’m sorry I forgot”; “I’m sorry I was angry and took it out on you”….
There are so many “sorry’s” we can say each day.
A Christian family also grows this way. We all know that the perfect family doesn’t exist, or the perfect husband, or the perfect wife. We won’t speak of the perfect mother-in-law. . . . We, sinners, exist. Jesus, who knows us well, teaches us a secret: Never end a day without asking forgiveness from one another, without having peace return to your home, to your family. It’s usual to quarrel between spouses, but there’s always something, we quarreled….Perhaps you were angry, perhaps a dish flew, but please remember this: Never end the day without making peace! Never, never, never!
This is a secret, a secret to preserve love and make peace. It’s not necessary to make a beautiful speech. Sometimes a gesture like this and . . . peace is made. Never end . . . because if you end the day without making peace, what you have inside the next day is cold and hard and it’s more difficult to make peace.
Remember well: Never end the day without making peace! If we learn to ask pardon of each other and to forgive one another, the marriage will last, it will go forward. When elderly spouses, celebrating their 50th, come to audiences or to Mass here at St. Martha’s, I ask the question: Who has endured whom? This is beautiful! They all look at one another, they look at me, and they say to me: “Both!” And this is beautiful. This is a beautiful testimony!

Question 3: The Style Of
The Celebration Of Matrimony

Holiness, in these months we are engaged in so many preparations for our wedding. Can you give us some advice to celebrate our marriage well?
Make it be a real celebration — because marriage is a celebration — a Christian celebration, not a worldly celebration.
The most profound motive for joy on that day is indicated in John’s Gospel: Do you remember the miracle at the wedding of Cana? At a certain point they ran out of wine and the celebration seemed ruined. Imagine ending the feast by drinking tea! No, it’s not on! Without wine, there is no celebration! On Mary’s suggestion, in that moment Jesus reveals Himself for the first time and gives a sign: He transforms the water into wine and, by so doing, saves the wedding celebration.
What happened at Cana two thousand years ago happens, in fact, in every nuptial celebration: What will make your marriage full and profoundly true will be the presence of the Lord, who reveals Himself and gives His grace. It’s His presence that offers the “good wine”; He is the secret of full joy, what truly warms the heart. It’s Jesus’ presence in that celebration.
May it be a beautiful celebration, but with Jesus! Not with the spirit of the world, no! This is felt, when the Lord is there.
At the same time, however, it’s good that your marriage [day] be sensible and that it highlight what is truly important. Some are more concerned with external signs, the banquet, photographs, clothes, and flowers. They are important things in a celebration, but only if they are able to indicate the true motive of your joy: the Lord’s blessing on your love. Make the external signs of your celebration, as the wine at Cana, reveal the Lord’s presence and remind you and everyone of the origin and reason for your joy.
But there’s something you said that I would like to seize, because I don’t want to let it pass. Matrimony is also a work of every day; I could say a craftwork, a goldsmith’s work, because the husband has the task to make his wife more woman and the wife has the task to make her husband more man. To grow also in humanity, as man and as woman. And this is done between you. It is called growing together.
This doesn’t come from the air! The Lord blesses it, but it comes from your hands, from your attitudes, from your way of living, from your way of loving one another. Make yourselves grow! Always act so that the other grows. Work for this. And so, I don’t know, I think of you who one day will go on a street of your country and the people will say: “But look at her, what a beautiful woman, how strong she is!” “With such a husband, one can understand it!” And also to you: “Look how he is!” “With the wife he has, one can understand it!”
It’s this, to arrive at this: to make each other grow together. And the children will have this legacy of having had a father and a mother that grew together, each one making the other more a man and more a woman!

Share Button

2017 The Wanderer Printing Co.

Popular priest disinvited from Catholic University’s seminary after protests over his LGBT book

The Rev. James Martin, a popular priest who published a book earlier this year encouraging a bridge between the LGBT community and the Catholic Church, has been disinvited from giving an address at Catholic University’s seminary. Martin, who was planning…Continue Reading

Latin Mass fans celebrate 10-year anniversary _ without pope

Fans of the old Latin Mass descended on Rome on Thursday for their annual pilgrimage, facing indifference to their cause, if not outright resistance, from none other than Pope Francis. Ten years after Pope Benedict XVI passed a law allowing greater use of…Continue Reading

Pro-gay Vatican adviser gets Catholic group suspended from Twitter

WASHINGTON, D.C., September 12, 2017 (LifeSiteNews) – A faithful Catholic lay apostolate was suspended by Twitter last week after Vatican adviser Father James Martin complained about a tweet that teasingly stated the pro-gay Jesuit had been bested in a theological…Continue Reading

Durbin, Feinstein and Catholic judges

Washington is currently embroiled in one of its “gotcha” controversies, which often arise when minor missteps are blown into major crimes. It’s a game both parties and a variety of activists play whenever they see political advantage in it. The…Continue Reading

Pope issues new directives on revision, translation of liturgical texts

Vatican City, Sep 9, 2017 / 08:00 am (CNA/EWTN News).- The Holy See has released a new “motu proprio” from Pope Francis outlining a shift in the responsibility of local bishops and the Apostolic See for the revision and approval…Continue Reading

Cardinal Burke ‘treasured’ work with deceased dubia Cardinal to oppose ‘gravely harmful confusion’

ROME, September 6, 2017 (LifeSiteNews) – Cardinal Raymond Burke paid tribute today to fellow dubia signer Cardinal Carlo Caffarra on his passing after a long illness. In a statement to LifeSiteNews, Burke said he was “deeply saddened” by the 79-year-old’s…Continue Reading

Some Personal Reflections on the Late Cardinal Caffarra

As Steve Skojec reported this morning, our beloved Cardinal Carlo Caffarra died today, in Italy. Our hearts are broken over this news since he was such a lovable and charitable and truthful man for us. Just to know that he was out…Continue Reading

Remarks by President Trump at Signing of Day of Prayer Proclamation

THE PRESIDENT:  Thank you very much.  Americans have always come to the aid of their fellow countrymen.  Friend helping friend, neighbor helping neighbor, stranger helping stranger — we’ve seen it perhaps more so than at any time, so vividly at…Continue Reading

Bishop Schneider: The Pope who ‘seems to’ permit adultery bears a ‘grave responsibility’

POLAND, August 31, 2017 (LifeSiteNews) — Pope Francis’ apostolic exhortation Amoris Laetitia “seems to” go in the direction of a pastoral “discernment” that “allows the adulterers to continue in adultery,” says Bishop Athanasius Schneider. The consequences for many could be…Continue Reading

REPORT CARD: Faithful college praised for financial aid; Praying for Notre Dame; ‘Pride Prom’ at Marquette

With college affordability becoming an increasingly prominent (and problematic) issue, Thomas Aquinas College’s recognition by The Princeton Review’s national Financial Aid Honor Roll is especially refreshing. “We are pleased that, once again, The Princeton Review has featured Thomas Aquinas College in its annual guide,”…Continue Reading

JEFFERSON CITY’S CATHEDRAL SCHOOL RESISTS LGBT POLICY

JEFFERSON CITY, Mo. (ChurchMilitant.com) – The flagship school for the diocese of Jefferson City has updated its handbook with clear Catholic instruction to counter the LGBT agenda being foisted on schools. Just in time for the new school year, St. Joseph…Continue Reading

Australian priest rips confession proposal as government ‘intrusion’

An Australian priest has called the Royal Commission’s recent proposal to enforce law requiring that clergy face criminal charges if they do not disclose details of sexual abuse revealed in the confessional a breach of religious tolerance. Fr. Kelvin Lovegrove,…Continue Reading

Untitled 5 Untitled 2

Attention Readers:

  Welcome to our website. Readers who are familiar with The Wanderer know we have been providing Catholic news and orthodox commentary for 150 years in our weekly print edition.


  Our daily version offers only some of what we publish weekly in print. To take advantage of everything The Wanderer publishes, we encourage you to su
bscribe to our flagship weekly print edition, which is mailed every Friday or, if you want to view it in its entirety online, you can subscribe to the E-edition, which is a replica of the print edition.
 
  Our daily edition includes: a selection of material from recent issues of our print edition, news stories updated daily from renowned news sources, access to archives from The Wanderer from the past 10 years, available at a minimum charge (this will be expanded as time goes on). Also: regularly updated features where we go back in time and highlight various columns and news items covered in The Wanderer over the past 150 years. And: a comments section in which your remarks are encouraged, both good and bad, including suggestions.
 
  We encourage you to become a daily visitor to our site. If you appreciate our site, tell your friends. As Catholics we must band together to rediscover our faith and share it with the world if we are to effectively counter a society whose moral culture seems to have no boundaries and a government whose rapidly extending reach threatens to extinguish the rights of people of faith to practice their religion (witness the HHS mandate). Now more than ever, vehicles like The Wanderer are needed for clarification and guidance on the issues of the day.

Catholic, conservative, orthodox, and loyal to the Magisterium have been this journal’s hallmarks for five generations. God willing, our message will continue well into this century and beyond.

Joseph Matt
President, The Wanderer Printing Co.

Untitled 1

Today . . .

Pro-Life Speaker Ben Shapiro Answers Pro-Abortion Student’s Question With an “Epic Takedown”

Popular conservative author and speaker Ben Shapiro continued to impress his audience Thursday at UC Berkeley when he rapidly refuted a young man’s abortion arguments. Shapiro’s speech at the liberal California university drew massive media attention because of the violent protests that have broken out on campus during past conservative speakers’ talks. The university and local police increased security, and several people were arrested Thursday. Inside the sold-out auditorium, Shapiro received a huge applause when…Continue Reading

Cardinal Sarah: Reverent liturgy is essential to fighting the culture of death

ROME, September 15, 2017 (LifeSiteNews) – One of the chief antidotes to a world “marked by the blight of Godless terrorism, of an increasingly aggressive secularism” and an “advancing culture of death” is to restore primacy to God in the Catholic liturgy, Cardinal Robert Sarah, Prefect of the Congregation for Divine Worship, said Thursday. The cardinal was speaking to an international gathering of cardinals, priests, religious and laity at the Fifth Roman Colloquium on Summorum…Continue Reading

Pope to new bishops: ‘Discernment’ means avoiding ‘rigid’ answers to moral questions

ROME, September 14, 2017 (LifeSiteNews) — Pope Francis told a group of newly ordained bishops that “authentic discernment” cannot be reduced to repeating “rigid” moral formulas to persons whose situations “can’t be reduced to black and white.” Discernment, the pope said, “can’t be reduced to repeating formulas such as ‘high clouds send little rain’ to a concrete person, who’s often immersed in a reality that can’t be reduced to black and white.” He cautioned bishops…Continue Reading

Catholic leaders defend Trump after Pope challenges his pro-life views

September 12, 2017 (LifeSiteNews) – Pro-life Catholic leaders are defending President Trump against Pope Francis after the Pontiff questioned Trump’s pro-life views, despite the fact that Trump has racked up major pro-life accomplishments during his short time in office. “If Pope Francis is so concerned with the commitment of others to the defense of preborn children, he should consider his own words and actions, as well,” said Michael Hichborn, founder and president of the Lepanto…Continue Reading

Sex, sanity, and beliefs that ‘live loudly’ within us

“I do not know any country where, in general, less independence of mind and genuine freedom of discussion reign than in America.” — Tocqueville, “Democracy in America” Alexis de Tocqueville was the great French chronicler of the early United States.  Nearly 200 years ago, he spotted a basic tension in our national character.  It’s this:  Americans place a big stress on individual rights.  But we’re also big conformists.  The dynamic of self-assertion and fear of being…Continue Reading

Advertisement(2)

Who Were The Colombian Martyrs Beatified By Pope Francis?

By ELISE HARRIS ROME, Italy (CNA/EWTN News) — During his six-day visit to Colombia, Pope Francis beatified martyrs Bishop Jesus Emilio Jaramillo Monsalve and Fr. Pedro Maria Ramirez Ramos, who provide testimony as the country heals from decades of conflict. Bishop Jaramillo was killed by Colombian Marxist guerrilla forces in 1989, while Fr. Ramirez was…Continue Reading

20 State Attorneys General Lauded… For Opposing Pro-Abortion Judge Orrick’s Gag Order Against CMP

By DEXTER DUGGAN PHOENIX — “It is definitely very encouraging, and it’s great news” that 20 state attorneys general filed an amicus brief with the U.S. Supreme Court to oppose the gag order against videos by pro-life investigators, an official with one of the law firms representing David Daleiden and the California-based Center for Medical…Continue Reading

Preparing To Enter Into The Awesome Mystery Of The Mass

By JAMES MONTI For every Catholic, there can be no more important event in one’s spiritual life than Holy Mass. For in the mystery of the Holy Eucharist we encounter our God in a more intimate manner than in any other sacrament, sacramental, or form of prayer. I recall hearing of a modern writer who…Continue Reading

Moral Judgments — Facts Or Opinions?

By ARTHUR HIPPLER (Editor’s Note: Dr. Hippler is chairman of the religion department and teaches religion in the Upper School at Providence Academy, Plymouth, Minn.) + + + Allan Bloom began his Closing of the American Mind with this memorable observation: “There is one thing a professor can be absolutely certain of: almost every student entering the…Continue Reading

The Complete Thinker

By DONALD DeMARCO “The Complete Thinker” is borrowed from the title of Dale Ahlquist’s 2012 book, the subtitle of which is The Marvelous Mind of G.K. Chesterton. “Thinking,” for Chesterton, “means connecting things.” Ahlquist regards G.K.’s thinking as “complete” in the sense that it deals with a wide variety of subjects and integrates them in…Continue Reading

Advertisement

Our Catholic Faith (Section B of print edition)

Professor Josef Seifert… Amoris Laetitia’s “Immense Threat” To The Moral Teaching Of The Church

By MAIKE HICKSON (Editor’s Note: In light of Professor Josef Seifert’s recent essay examining some of the dangerous logical consequences of Amoris Laetitia — an essay for which he was dismissed from his teaching position by the archbishop of Granada — Dr. Maike Hickson of OnePeterFive.com reached out to the Austrian philosopher to ask him some additional questions about not…Continue Reading

A Leaven In The World… Can Division In Worship Bring Unity Of Faith?

By FR. KEVIN M. CUSICK Pope Francis has given authority through a new motu proprio, Magnum Principium, issued this month, to local bishops’ conferences to approve translations of the liturgy from Latin into local languages. By doing so he hopes to accomplish a couple of things. First, as we know by now Pope Francis places full trust and confidence in…Continue Reading

God The Sanctifier Of Men… Other Christs

By RAYMOND DE SOUZA, KM Part 3 In a previous article, I mentioned that sanctifying grace makes us brethren of Christ. It is, by the way, one more reason to have devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary, Mother of Christ and Mother of us, our common Mother. The reason is quite simple to understand: Christ is the Head of the…Continue Reading

The Effects And Fruits Of Anointing Of The Sick

By DON FIER The proper time for receiving the Sacrament of Anointing of the Sick for a baptized Catholic “has certainly arrived when the believer begins to be in danger of death because of illness or old age” (Catechism of the Catholic Church [CCC], n. 1528). However, as we saw last week, the sacrament is not exclusively for those who…Continue Reading

Catholic Replies

Q. Please clarify 1 John 5:16-17. Does this refer to mortal sin? What is meant by not praying for one in deadly sin? Isn’t deadly sin a top priority for prayer? — P.S., Indiana. A. The passage in question reads: “If anyone sees his brother sinning, if the sin is not deadly, he should pray to God and he will…Continue Reading

Catholic Heroes… St. Thomas Villanova

By CAROLE BRESLIN Our Lord drew amazing men and women from the population of Spain to protect that country from the ravages that swept through Germany and the Scandinavian countries in the Reformation era. Two events marked by Augustinian monks sparked these events. In Germany, an apostate Augustinian monk who fell from grace led hundreds of thousands into error —…Continue Reading

Catholic Heroes… St. Simon De Rojas

By CAROLE BRESLIN The subject of this article lived in a time of great saints, great Spanish saints, so it is not surprising that he is little known. St. Ignatius of Loyola (1491-1556) who wrote the Spiritual Exercises, St. Teresa of Avila (1515-1582) who reformed the Carmelites and wrote The Interior Castle, and St. John of the Cross who wrote…Continue Reading