Thursday 28th March 2024

Home » Our Catholic Faith » Currently Reading:

Francis’ Dialogue With Engaged Couples . . . A Christian Celebration, Not A Worldly Celebration

February 26, 2014 Our Catholic Faith No Comments

VATICAN CITY (ZENIT) — Here is a translation of Pope Francis’ remarks on February 14, when he met in St. Peter’s Square with some 20,000 young people engaged to be married. He responded to questions posed by three couples. ZENIT News Agency provided the text and did the translation. All rights reserved.

+    +    +

Question 1: The Fear
Of The “Forever”

Holiness, so many today think that to promise faithfulness for the whole of life is too difficult an enterprise; many feel that the challenge to live together forever is beautiful, fascinating, but too demanding, almost impossible. We ask you for your word to enlighten us on this.
The Pope’s response: I am grateful for the testimony and for the question. I shall explain: They sent me the question ahead of time…you understand. And so I was able to reflect and think about a somewhat more solid answer.
It’s important to ask yourselves if it’s possible to love one another “forever.” This is a question that must be asked: Is it possible to love each other “forever”? Today so many people are afraid of making definitive choices. A boy said to his bishop: “I want to become a priest, but only for ten years.” He was afraid of a definitive choice. But it is a general fear, proper [to] our culture. To make choices for life seems impossible. Today everything changes rapidly; nothing lasts long. . . .
And this mentality leads so many who are preparing for marriage to say: “We are together while love lasts,” and then? Greetings and good-bye. . . . And so marriage ends.
But what do we understand by “love”? Is it only a feeling, a psycho-physical state? Of course if it’s this, one cannot build on something solid. But if, instead, love is a relationship, then it’s a reality that grows, and we can also say, by way of example, that it is built as a house. And the house is built together, not by one alone! Here to build means to foster and help growth.
Dear fiancés, you are preparing yourselves to grow together, to build this house, to live together forever. You don’t want to build it on the sand of sentiments that come and go, but on the rock of true love, the love that comes from God. The family is born from this project of love that wishes to grow, as a house is built that is a place of affection, of help, of hope, of support. As the love of God is stable and forever, so we also want the love that founds the family to be stable and forever. Please, we must not let ourselves be conquered by the “culture of the provisional”! This culture that invades everyone today, this culture of the provisional, is not the way!
So, how is this fear of “forever” cured? It’s cured day by day by entrusting oneself to the Lord Jesus in a life that becomes a daily spiritual journey, made up of steps — small steps, steps of joint growth — made up of the commitment to become mature women and men in the faith. Because, dear fiancés, “forever” is not solely a question of duration! A marriage hasn’t succeeded just because it has lasted — its quality is important. The challenge of Christian spouses is to be together and to be able to love each other forever.
There comes to mind the miracle of the multiplication of the loaves: For you also, the Lord can multiply love and give it to you fresh and good every day. He has an infinite supply! He gives you the love that is the foundation of your union and He renews it every day, He reinforces it. And He renders it even greater when the family grows with children.
On this journey, prayer is important and necessary always. He for you and you for Him and all and the two together: Ask Jesus to multiply your love. In the prayer of the Our Father we say: “Give us this day our daily bread.” Spouses can also learn to pray thus: “Lord, give us today our daily love,” because the daily love of spouses is the bread, the true bread of the soul, that which sustains them to go forward. And the prayer: Can we do the test to know if we are able to say it? “Lord, give us today our daily love.”
All together! [Fiancés: “Lord, give us today our daily love”] Once again! [Fiancés: “Lord, give us today our daily love”].
This is the prayer of fiancés and spouses. Teach us to love one another, to will the good for each other! The more you entrust yourselves to Him the more your love will be “forever,” capable of being renewed and it will overcome every difficulty. This is what I thought I wished to say to you, in response to your question. Thank you!

Question 2: To Live Together: The “Style” Of Married Life

Holiness, to live together every day is beautiful, it gives joy and sustains. However, it’s a challenge to be faced. We believe that we must learn to love one another. Is there a “style” of the life of a couple, a spirituality of the everyday that we could learn? Can you help us in this, Holy Father?
The Pope’s response: It’s an art to live together, a patient, beautiful, and fascinating journey. It doesn’t end when you have won each other. Instead, it’s really then that it begins! This daily journey has rules that that can be summarized in the three phrases you have said, phrases which I have repeated so many times to families: permission — that is, “may I,” [can you], as you said — thank you, and excuse me.
“May I — permission?” It is the polite request to be able to enter in the life of another with respect and care. It is necessary to learn to ask: May I do this? Are you happy that we do it this way? That we take this initiative, that we educate the children like this? Would you like us to go out this evening? In sum, to ask permission means to be able to enter with courtesy in the life of others. But hear this well: to be able to enter with courtesy in the life of others.
And it’s not easy, it’s not easy. Sometimes, instead, rather heavy ways are used, like some mountain boots! True love doesn’t impose itself with harshness and aggressiveness. In the Little Flowers of St. Francis, one finds this expression: “Know that courtesy is one of God’s properties…and courtesy is the sister of charity, which extinguishes hatred and preserves love” (chapter 37). Yes, courtesy preserves love. And today in our families, in our world, often violent and arrogant, there is need of much more courtesy. And this can begin at home.
“Thank you.” It seems easy to say this word, but we know it’s not like this….However, it’s important! We teach it to children, but then we forget it! Gratitude is an important sentiment! Once, in Buenos Aires an elderly lady said to me: “Gratitude is a flower that grows in noble earth.” Nobility of soul is necessary for this flower to grow.
Do you remember Luke’s Gospel? Jesus cures ten lepers and then only one returns to say thank you to Jesus. And the Lord says: And where are the other nine? This is true also for us: Are we able to thank? In your relationship, and tomorrow in your married life, it’s important to keep alive the awareness that the other person is a gift of God, and one says thank you for God’s gifts! And in this interior attitude to say thank you to each other for everything. It’s not a kind word to be used with foreigners, to be well-mannered. It’s necessary to be able to say thank you to one another, to go forward well together in your married life.
“Apology.” We make so many errors, so many mistakes in life. We all do. Is there, perhaps, someone here who has never made a mistake? If there is one here, let him raise his hand: a person who has never made a mistake? We all make them! All! Perhaps there’s not a day in which we don’t make some mistake. The Bible says that the just man sins seven times a day. And so we make mistakes….See, then, the need to use this simple word: “Sorry.” In general each one of us is quick to accuse the other and to justify ourselves.
This began with our father Adam, when God asks him: “Adam, have you eaten of that fruit? “I? No! She is the one who gave it to me!” We accuse the other so as not to say “sorry,” “pardon.” It’s an old story! It’s an instinct that is at the origin of so many disasters. Let us learn to acknowledge our errors and to ask for pardon. “I’m sorry if I raised my voice today”; “I’m sorry I passed by without greeting you”; “I’m sorry I was late,” “if this week I’ve been so silent,” “if I’ve talked too much without ever listening”; “I’m sorry I forgot”; “I’m sorry I was angry and took it out on you”….
There are so many “sorry’s” we can say each day.
A Christian family also grows this way. We all know that the perfect family doesn’t exist, or the perfect husband, or the perfect wife. We won’t speak of the perfect mother-in-law. . . . We, sinners, exist. Jesus, who knows us well, teaches us a secret: Never end a day without asking forgiveness from one another, without having peace return to your home, to your family. It’s usual to quarrel between spouses, but there’s always something, we quarreled….Perhaps you were angry, perhaps a dish flew, but please remember this: Never end the day without making peace! Never, never, never!
This is a secret, a secret to preserve love and make peace. It’s not necessary to make a beautiful speech. Sometimes a gesture like this and . . . peace is made. Never end . . . because if you end the day without making peace, what you have inside the next day is cold and hard and it’s more difficult to make peace.
Remember well: Never end the day without making peace! If we learn to ask pardon of each other and to forgive one another, the marriage will last, it will go forward. When elderly spouses, celebrating their 50th, come to audiences or to Mass here at St. Martha’s, I ask the question: Who has endured whom? This is beautiful! They all look at one another, they look at me, and they say to me: “Both!” And this is beautiful. This is a beautiful testimony!

Question 3: The Style Of
The Celebration Of Matrimony

Holiness, in these months we are engaged in so many preparations for our wedding. Can you give us some advice to celebrate our marriage well?
Make it be a real celebration — because marriage is a celebration — a Christian celebration, not a worldly celebration.
The most profound motive for joy on that day is indicated in John’s Gospel: Do you remember the miracle at the wedding of Cana? At a certain point they ran out of wine and the celebration seemed ruined. Imagine ending the feast by drinking tea! No, it’s not on! Without wine, there is no celebration! On Mary’s suggestion, in that moment Jesus reveals Himself for the first time and gives a sign: He transforms the water into wine and, by so doing, saves the wedding celebration.
What happened at Cana two thousand years ago happens, in fact, in every nuptial celebration: What will make your marriage full and profoundly true will be the presence of the Lord, who reveals Himself and gives His grace. It’s His presence that offers the “good wine”; He is the secret of full joy, what truly warms the heart. It’s Jesus’ presence in that celebration.
May it be a beautiful celebration, but with Jesus! Not with the spirit of the world, no! This is felt, when the Lord is there.
At the same time, however, it’s good that your marriage [day] be sensible and that it highlight what is truly important. Some are more concerned with external signs, the banquet, photographs, clothes, and flowers. They are important things in a celebration, but only if they are able to indicate the true motive of your joy: the Lord’s blessing on your love. Make the external signs of your celebration, as the wine at Cana, reveal the Lord’s presence and remind you and everyone of the origin and reason for your joy.
But there’s something you said that I would like to seize, because I don’t want to let it pass. Matrimony is also a work of every day; I could say a craftwork, a goldsmith’s work, because the husband has the task to make his wife more woman and the wife has the task to make her husband more man. To grow also in humanity, as man and as woman. And this is done between you. It is called growing together.
This doesn’t come from the air! The Lord blesses it, but it comes from your hands, from your attitudes, from your way of living, from your way of loving one another. Make yourselves grow! Always act so that the other grows. Work for this. And so, I don’t know, I think of you who one day will go on a street of your country and the people will say: “But look at her, what a beautiful woman, how strong she is!” “With such a husband, one can understand it!” And also to you: “Look how he is!” “With the wife he has, one can understand it!”
It’s this, to arrive at this: to make each other grow together. And the children will have this legacy of having had a father and a mother that grew together, each one making the other more a man and more a woman!

Share Button

2019 The Wanderer Printing Co.

Vatican and USCCB leave transgender policy texts unpublished

While U.S. bishops have made headlines for releasing policies addressing gender identity and pastoral ministry, guidelines on the subject have been drafted but not published by both the U.S. bishops’ conference and the Vatican’s doctrinal office, leaving diocesan bishops to…Continue Reading

Biden says Pope Francis told him to continue receiving communion, amid scrutiny over pro-abortion policies

President Biden said that Pope Francis, during their meeting Friday in Vatican City, told him that he should continue to receive communion, amid heightened scrutiny of the Catholic president’s pro-abortion policies.  The president, following the approximately 90-minute-long meeting, a key…Continue Reading

Federal judge rules in favor of Gov. DeSantis’ mask mandate ban

MIAMI (LifeSiteNews) – A federal judge this week handed Florida Republican Gov. Ron DeSantis another legal victory on his mask mandate ban for schools. On Wednesday, Judge K. Michael Moore of the Southern District of Florida denied a petition from…Continue Reading

The Eucharist should not be received unworthily, says Nigerian cardinal

Priests have a duty to remind Catholics not to receive the Eucharist in a state of serious sin and to make confession easily available, a Nigerian cardinal said at the International Eucharistic Congress on Thursday. “It is still the doctrine…Continue Reading

Donald Trump takes a swipe at Catholics and Jews who did not vote for him

Donald Trump complained about Catholics and Jews who did not vote for him in 2020. The former president made the comments in a conference call featuring religious leaders. The move could be seen to shore up his religious conservative base…Continue Reading

Y Gov. Kathy Hochul Admits Andrew Cuomo Covered Up COVID Deaths, 12,000 More Died Than Reported

When it comes to protecting people from COVID, Andrew Cuomo is already the worst governor in America. New York has the second highest death rate per capita, in part because he signed an executive order putting COVID patients in nursing…Continue Reading

Prayers For Cardinal Burke . . . U.S. Cardinal Burke says he has tested positive for COVID-19

VATICAN CITY (CNS) — U.S. Cardinal Raymond L. Burke said he has tested positive for the virus that causes COVID-19. In an Aug. 10 tweet, he wrote: “Praised be Jesus Christ! I wish to inform you that I have recently…Continue Reading

Democrats Block Amendment Banning Late-Term Abortions, Stopping Abortions Up to Birth

Senate Democrats have blocked an amendment that would ban abortions on babies older than 20 weeks. During consideration of the multi-trillion spending package, pro-life Louisiana Senator John Kennedy filed an amendment to ban late-term abortions, but Democrats steadfastly support killing…Continue Reading

Transgender student wins as U.S. Supreme Court rebuffs bathroom appeal

WASHINGTON (Reuters) -The U.S. Supreme Court on Monday handed a victory to a transgender former public high school student who waged a six-year legal battle against a Virginia county school board that had barred him from using the bathroom corresponding…Continue Reading

New York priest accused by security guard of assault confirms charges have now been dropped

NEW YORK, June 17, 2021 (LifeSiteNews) — A New York priest has made his first public statement regarding the dismissal of charges against him.  Today Father George W. Rutler reached out to LifeSiteNews and other media today with the following…Continue Reading

21,000 sign petition protesting US Catholic bishops vote on Biden, abortion

More than 21,000 people have signed a letter calling for U.S. Catholic bishops to cancel a planned vote on whether President Biden should receive communion.  Biden, a Catholic, supports abortion rights and has long come under attack from some Catholics over that…Continue Reading

Bishop Gorman seeks candidates to fill two full time AP level teaching positions for the 2021-2022 school year in the subject areas of Calculus/Statistics and Physics

Bishop Thomas K. Gorman Regional Catholic School is a college preparatory school located in Tyler, Texas. It is an educational ministry of the Catholic Diocese of Tyler led by Bishop Joseph Strickland. The sixth through twelfth grade school provides a…Continue Reading

Untitled 5 Untitled 2

Attention Readers:

  Welcome to our website. Readers who are familiar with The Wanderer know we have been providing Catholic news and orthodox commentary for 150 years in our weekly print edition.


  Our daily version offers only some of what we publish weekly in print. To take advantage of everything The Wanderer publishes, we encourage you to su
bscribe to our flagship weekly print edition, which is mailed every Friday or, if you want to view it in its entirety online, you can subscribe to the E-edition, which is a replica of the print edition.
 
  Our daily edition includes: a selection of material from recent issues of our print edition, news stories updated daily from renowned news sources, access to archives from The Wanderer from the past 10 years, available at a minimum charge (this will be expanded as time goes on). Also: regularly updated features where we go back in time and highlight various columns and news items covered in The Wanderer over the past 150 years. And: a comments section in which your remarks are encouraged, both good and bad, including suggestions.
 
  We encourage you to become a daily visitor to our site. If you appreciate our site, tell your friends. As Catholics we must band together to rediscover our faith and share it with the world if we are to effectively counter a society whose moral culture seems to have no boundaries and a government whose rapidly extending reach threatens to extinguish the rights of people of faith to practice their religion (witness the HHS mandate). Now more than ever, vehicles like The Wanderer are needed for clarification and guidance on the issues of the day.

Catholic, conservative, orthodox, and loyal to the Magisterium have been this journal’s hallmarks for five generations. God willing, our message will continue well into this century and beyond.

Joseph Matt
President, The Wanderer Printing Co.

Untitled 1

Catechism

Today . . .

Abortion Advocates No Longer Consider It “A Necessary Evil,” They Celebrate Killing Babies

Last week, Kamala Harris became the first vice president in U.S. history to make a public visit to an abortion clinic. Though the Democratic party’s support for abortion is nothing new, Harris’ Planned Parenthood appearance does illustrate how that support has become a flagrant celebration of abortion as a public and personal good, essential to both “freedom” and to “healthcare.” At the appearance, Harris proclaimed,  It is only right and fair that people have access…Continue Reading

Wisconsin Supreme Court says Catholic charity group cannot claim religious tax exemption

The Wisconsin Supreme Court on Thursday ruled that a major Catholic charity group’s activities were not “primarily” religious under state law, stripping the group of a key tax break and ordering it to pay into the state unemployment system. Catholic Charities Bureau (CCB) last year argued that the state had improperly removed its designation as a religious organization.  The charity filed a lawsuit after the state said it did not qualify to be considered as an organization…Continue Reading

Walgreens and CVS Will Start Selling Abortion Pills That Kill Babies

The two largest pharmacies in America will start selling abortion pills this month that end the lives of unborn children by starting them to death. Walgreens and CVS will both sell the abortion pills despite the fact that they kill a developing human being and have killed at least dozens of women and injured tens of thousands more. They plan to initially roll out abortion drug sales in Rhode Island, Massachusetts, New York, Pennsylvania, California…Continue Reading

Cardinal Burke announces novena to Our Lady of Guadalupe for ‘crises of our age’

VATICAN CITY (PerMariam) — Raymond Cardinal Burke has announced the start of a global, nine-month novena to Our Lady of Guadalupe, calling on Catholics to beseech Mary’s intercession on the Church and the world in the face of the “crises of our age.” In a new endeavour published online over the weekend, Cardinal Burke announced a novena beginning in March, and culminating on the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe on December 12.

Texas attorney general targets Catholic nonprofit, alleges it facilitates illegal immigration

Washington, D.C. Newsroom, Feb 21, 2024 / 21:15 pm Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton is trying to shut down a Catholic nonprofit organization in El Paso based on allegations that the group may be facilitating illegal immigration, harboring immigrants who entered the country illegally, and engaging in human smuggling.  Paxton filed a lawsuit against the nonprofit Annunciation House, which has operated in the state for nearly 50 years. The lawsuit asks the District Court of El Paso…Continue Reading

The King of Kings

Cindy Paslawski We are at the end of the Church year. We began with Advent a year ago, commemorating the time awaiting the coming of the Christ and we are ending these weeks later with a vision of the future, a vision of Christ the King of the Universe on His throne before us all.…Continue Reading

7,000 Pro-Lifers March In London

By STEVEN ERTELT LONDON (LifeNews) — Over the weekend, some seven thousand pro-life people in the UK participated in the March for Life in London to protest abortion.They marched to Parliament Square on Saturday, September 2 under the banner of “Freedom to Live” and had to deal with a handful of radical abortion activists.During the…Continue Reading

An Appeal For Prayer For The Armenian People

By RAYMOND LEO CARDINAL BURKE (Editor’s Note: His Eminence Raymond Cardinal Burke on August 29, 2023, issued this prayer for the Armenian people, noting their unceasing love for Christ, even in the face of persecution.) + + On the Feast of the Beheading of St. John the Baptist, having a few days ago celebrated the…Continue Reading

Robert Hickson, Founding Member Of Christendom College, Dies At 80

By MAIKE HICKSON FRONT ROYAL, Va. (LifeSiteNews) — Robert David Hickson, Jr., of Front Royal, Va., died at his home on September 2, 2023, at 21:29 p.m. after several months of suffering and after having received the Last Rites of the Catholic Church. He was surrounded by friends and family.Robert is survived by me —…Continue Reading

The Real Hero Of “Sound of Freedom”… Says The Film Has Strengthened The Fight Against Child Trafficking

By ANA PAULA MORALES (CNA) —Tim Ballard, a former U.S. Homeland Security agent who risked his life to fight child trafficking, discussed the impact of the movie Sound of Freedom, which is based on his work, in an August 29 interview with ACI Prensa, CNA’s Spanish-language news partner. “I’ve spent more than 20 years helping…Continue Reading

Advertisement

Our Catholic Faith (Section B of print edition)

Catholic Replies

Editor’s Note: This lesson on medical-moral issues is taken from the book Catholicism & Ethics. Please feel free to use the series for high schoolers or adults. We will continue to welcome your questions for the column as well. The email and postal addresses are given at the end of this column. Special Course On Catholicism And Ethics (Pages 53-59)…Continue Reading

Color Politics An Impediment To Faith

By FR. KEVIN M. CUSICK The USCCB is rightly concerned about racism, as they should be about any sin. In the 2018 statement Open Wide Our Hearts, they affirm the dignity of every human person: “But racism still profoundly affects our culture, and it has no place in the Christian heart. This evil causes great harm to its victims, and…Continue Reading

Trademarks Of The True Messiah

By MSGR. CHARLES POPE (Editor’s Note: Msgr. Charles Pope posted this essay on September 2, and it is reprinted here with permission.) + + In Sunday’s Gospel the Lord firmly sets before us the need for the cross, not as an end in itself, but as the way to glory. Let’s consider the Gospel in three stages.First: The Pattern That…Continue Reading

A Beacon Of Light… The Holy Cross And Jesus’ Unconditional Love

By FR. RICHARD D. BRETON Each year on September 14 the Church celebrates the Feast Day of the Exultation of the Holy Cross. The Feast Day of the Triumph of the Holy Cross commemorates the day St. Helen found the True Cross. It is fitting then, that today we should focus on the final moments of Jesus’ life on the…Continue Reading

Our Ways Must Become More Like God’s Ways

By FR. ROBERT ALTIER Twenty-Fifth Sunday In Ordinary Time (YR A) Readings: Isaiah 55:6-9Phil. 1:20c-24, 27aMatt. 20:1-16a In the first reading today, God tells us through the Prophet Isaiah that His thoughts are not our thoughts and His ways are not our ways. This should not come as a surprise to anyone, especially when we look at what the Lord…Continue Reading

The Devil And The Democrats

By FR. DENIS WILDE, OSA States such as Minnesota, California, Maryland, and others, in all cases with Democrat-controlled legislatures, are on a fast track to not only allow unborn babies to be murdered on demand as a woman’s “constitutional right” but also to allow infanticide.Our nation has gotten so used to the moral evil of killing in the womb that…Continue Reading

Crushed But Unbroken . . . The Martyrdom Of St. Margaret Clitherow

By RAY CAVANAUGH The late-1500s were a tough time for Catholics in England, where the Reformation was in full gear. A 1581 law prohibited Catholic religious ceremonies. And a 1584 Act of Parliament mandated that all Catholic priests leave the country or else face execution. Some chose to remain, however, so they could continue serving the faithful.Also taking huge risks…Continue Reading

Advertisement(2)