By DONALD DeMARCO
Everything was just fine in Happy Valley. People worked hard, cooperated with each other, and lived by the Good Book. Plenty of food was available and there was enough work for everyone. And then, without any sign of expectation, it happened.
A mother, who had grown impatient with her son’s carelessness around the house, called him “lazy.” The father concurred. The word was fully justified for the son left his dirty clothes on the floor, rarely made his bed, and was often late for meals. But the word stung the boy and he reacted in a surprising way. “I am offended,” said the boy. “I am not lazy. I just have more important things to do.”
The parents did not know how to react. They had never seen their son in such a state of agitation. What did it mean to be “offended”? Had they violated their son’s sacred right to grow up in Happy Valley and never be offended? But the offending word had been spoken, and the offense had been committed. The word could not be retracted. The wounded boy told his sad tale to the town magistrate, claiming that his self-esteem was irreparably damaged, and won both his complete sympathy and support.
In order to put an end to this new crime of offending people, the magistrate passed a law making all acts of using offensive remarks a crime punishable by imprisonment. Now that the boy’s parents were imprisoned, he was fully exonerated and could brag about his success to his peers.
Soon all the children in Happy Valley were finding one flimsy reason after another to claim being offended. Parents were summarily rounded up and imprisoned. But the youngsters did not enjoy their new freedom. Without guidance, direction, or inspiration, they became slaves to their most base instincts. They fought with each other, savagely, and without reprieve.
But the wounded could not receive medical attention because doctors and nurses had also been convicted of using offensive words. They were guilty of such damaging remarks as “you are not well,” “you need help,” and “you have a disease.”
The net result of this campaign to prevent the use of any offensive terms (real or imagined) was the complete disintegration of Happy Valley. It did not prevent the use of offensive words, but spread suspicion, distrust, and hostility. People could no longer cooperate. Food became scarce. Schools and hospitals were shut down. The once happy community ultimately became a ghost town.
Historians, reflecting on the fate of Happy Valley, puzzled over how this once happy community could fall apart so quickly and so thoroughly.
One God-fearing historian, a Christian, speculated that the community’s initial mistake was failing to commit itself to not offending God. By not offending God, by keeping His Commandments and living by the Golden Rule, the citizens of this now defunct community would have immunized themselves against the utter nonsense of overreacting to reasonable criticism. They would have understood that good advice, accurate diagnosis, fraternal criticism, and the correct use of language are not in themselves offensive, but potentially helpful. Thus, they deprived each other of the complementary blessings they could have bestowed on one another.
When we ignore God we are no longer concerned about not offending Him. As a result, this historian went on to suggest, we make little gods out of ourselves. Then we perch ourselves on a self-made throne, demanding to be treated according to an unreasonable set of expectations. We become ultra-sensitive to our own feelings while remaining callous to the feelings of others. The Golden Rule is abandoned. In this way, we become intolerant of each other and consistently bicker and blame.
Placing God at the center of our lives gives us a common ground and an objective standard. By refraining from offending Him (or at least making the effort), we are less like to offend each other. At the same time, others are less likely to misinterpret the slightest brush as being offensive. By loving the God who loves us, we come to love all those who are contained in His love.
This is a practical formula for the establishment of peace and prosperity. The people of Happy Valley did not know better. But that is no reason for us to remain equally ignorant.
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(Dr. Donald DeMarco is a senior fellow of Human Life International. He is professor emeritus at St. Jerome’s University in Waterloo, Ontario, and an adjunct professor at Holy Apostles College in Cromwell, Conn., and a regular columnist for St. Austin Review. His latest work is How to Remain Sane in a World That is Going Mad. Some of his recent writings may be found at Human Life International’s Truth and Charity Forum.)
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