How Do You Solve A Problem Like This Sister?

By REY FLORES

As soon as the Hobby Lobby decision was handed down last week at the Supreme Court of the United States, our dear old friend Sr. Donna Quinn must have been crying alligator tears. The poor sister has been fighting for the rights of women to keep being exploited by contraceptive drugs and for their right to abort their babies for decades now.

Much has been said and written about Sr. Donna and with good reason. Sr. Donna is the ultimate example of dissidence. In her own words in a 2002 interview, she implied that even she could do a better job than God when it comes to death itself: “I think death is the first and most devastating form of violence perpetrated on humanity. I still shout at God, saying, ‘Even I could have planned it better!’ I think organized religions were invented to explain it and address it.”

In 1974, Sr. Donna founded the Chicago Catholic Women. She said that this new organization would be “helping women in the Archdiocese of Chicago provide input to the bishops of the United States for the formation of social justice policy.” Well, we’ve all seen how great all this dissent has turned out to be.

It is no mystery how the Chicago Catholic Women came to be in Chicago. After all, she was surrounded by all of the other dissident clergy and religious still enamored with Saul Alinsky. Chicago is most definitely the Alinsky capital of America.

Sr. Donna had most recently been trying to persuade the Supreme Court, via an online petition, to

Sustain the Affordable Healthcare Act mandate on birth control. Now that the decision has already been handed down, she is still short about 3,600 signatures from their 15,000 signature goal.

This petition sounds radical enough coming from someone like Planned Parenthood’s head executioner Cecile Richards, but coming from a woman who is supposedly a Catholic nun, it is nothing short of disgusting.

Sr. Donna’s “partner in crime” is the Rev. Debra W. Haffner, cofounder and president of the Religious Institute, Inc., and an ordained Unitarian Universalist minister. Haffner worked with Quinn in setting up this now-failed petition that stated several things, but most troubling is this: “We know that religious freedom means that each person has the right to exercise their own religious beliefs; religious freedom cannot mean that an individual or a corporation gets to impose their religious beliefs on their employees.”

That last statement drives me crazy because while the pro-abortion, pro-contraception supporters say they know what religious freedom is, they insist on denying it to people like you and me.

They don’t care and deep down inside they know exactly what they are trying to do. But we aren’t going to let them step on our true religious freedom.

In honor of Sr. Donna’s latest efforts and as a tribute to her long history of dissent and heresy, I invite all of you to join me in singing a rousing version of the following song How Do You Solve a Problem Like Sr. Donna? — sung to the tune of the Sound of Music favorite: How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?

What appears below is an excerpted version; for the full text, write to me at: reyfloresusa

@gmail.com.

She climbs a bus and shouts with glee

Her pantsuit has got a tear

She waltzes on her way to guitar Mass

And whistles on the stair

She no longer wears her wimple

She has short and choppy hair

I even heard her singing in the White House.

She’s never late for chapel

But is her penitence real?

She’s never late for anything

When it comes to supporting Obamacare

I hate to have to say it

But I very firmly feel

Donna’s not an asset to the Church

I’d like to say a word in her behalf

Sr. Donna makes me laugh. . . .

Many a thing you know you’d like to tell her

Many a thing she ought to understand

But how do you make her stay

And listen to all you say

How do you keep a wave upon the sand?…

How do you solve a problem like Sr. Donna?

How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?

How do you find a word that means Obama?

A flibbertigibbet! A will-o’-the wisp! A clown!

Many a thing you know you’d like to tell her

Many a thing she ought to understand

But how do you make her go away

So we no longer have to hear what she has to say

How do you keep a dissident nun away?

Oh, how do you solve a problem like Sr. Donna?

How do you hold Plan B in your hand?

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