By DONALD DeMARCO
When our children were very young we celebrated their birthdays with guests and games. One of our favorite games was “Pin the Tail on the Donkey.” The point of the game is for a child, after he has been blindfolded and spun around three times, to place the tail he is holding in his hand where it belongs on the donkey. The poor little tykes, however, in a state of disorientation, would pin the tail anywhere but where it belonged, much to the glee of all observers.
The philosophical point here is that when we are in a state of disorientation we are lost and cannot locate our proper place. We observe, but not with glee, important leaders in our society who are putting things, such as life, marriage, and morality, in the wrong places. Disorientation breeds disorder.
A popular feminist jersey reads, “A Woman’s Place is Everywhere.” But a “place” is something specific and should not be over-generalized. The irony here is that if one’s place is “everywhere,” it is really nowhere. And the person who is “nowhere” does not know his place and is lost.
Milton Mayeroff discusses the fundamental significance of place in his engaging little book entitled On Caring. “We may think of ourselves as restless, in some deep-seated sense, until we find our unique place, and of being in-place as coming to rest, but this rest is dynamic rather than static.”
Mayeroff does not cite St. Augustine, although he does call to mind the famous passage that occurs at the beginning of the bishop of Hippo’s Confessions:
“You have made us for yourself, O Lord and our heart is restless until it rests in you.” (Fecisti nos ad te et inquietum est cor nostrum donec requiescat in te.) For Augustine, being in place was anything but static, for it gave him a peace of mind that allowed him to execute his episcopal responsibilities and express his thoughts in a prolific fashion.
Bob Feller’s place was on the mound; Ted Williams’ place was at the dish; Joe DiMaggio and Stan Musial knew their proper defensive places patrolling center and right field, respectively. This fabulous foursome, called “Baseball’s Mount Rushmore,” were eminently successful because each player knew his place and took full advantage of it. None of these Hall of Fame legends would have accomplished nearly as much if they played shortstop.
The cosmic implications of being in the right place are simply and beautifully expressed in Robert Browning’s Pippa’s Song:
The year’s at the spring,
And day’s at the morn;
Morning’s at seven;
The hill-side’s dew-pearl’d;
The lark’s on the wing;
The snail’s on the thorn;
God’s in His heaven —
All’s right with the world!
There is order in the universe because things are in their proper place. We find order and meaning in our lives when we know our proper place. We all want to know where we fit in.
The adulterer is in the wrong place because fidelity binds husband and wife to their proper places. The thief is in the wrong place because justice obliges him not to steal. The aborting doctor is in the wrong place because his profession demands that he proves care for his patience.
“We are ‘in-place’ in the world,” Mayeroff goes on to say, “through having our lives ordered through inclusive caring.”
Our proper place, then, is where we are at our best, where we can find peace, and express love.
Alejandro Villanueva is an NFL football player and the winner of a Bronze Star for valor on the field of action. He speaks for many when he says, “If you are right with God, everything else is fine; if you’re not right with God, everything else is out of place. Being connected with God is the most important thing there is.”
Life challenges us to find our proper place. We do not want to be “nowhere” and we cannot be “everywhere.” In finding our proper place we do not suffer any loss of freedom, but come to understand the value of our freedom, for the right use of our freedom leads us to that place where we can truly be ourselves and successfully minister to others.
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(Dr. Donald DeMarco’s latest works, How To Remain Sane in a World That Is Going Mad; Poetry That Enters the Mind and Warms the Heart; and How to Flourish in a Fallen World are available through Amazon.com.)
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