A Beacon Of Light… The Popes And True Love Waits

By FR. RICHARD D. BRETON JR.

(Editor’s Note: Fr. Richard D. Breton Jr. is a priest of the Diocese of Norwich, Conn. He received his BA in religious studies and his MA in dogmatic theology from Holy Apostles College and Seminary in Cromwell, Conn.)

• + + As of the publishing of this article, I am away on a much-needed vacation. Because of the need to get this column in early, I have decided to share with you a homily I preached to a group of young people participating in a program called True Love Waits. These young people ranged in age from eighth grade through high school.
  The True Love Waits Program has been offered in many of the parishes of the diocese. The aim of the program is to equip our young people with the understanding necessary to live a pure and chaste life prior to marriage. The program follows a series of general audiences given by Pope St. John Paul II that would come to be known later as his famous Theology of the Body. The True Love Waits Program challenges young people to save themselves for marriage. It is made up of of five weekly sessions where the boys and girls are separated and discuss the aspect of sexuality proper to their gender.
  Topics that are covered include: physiological aspects of the human body, the complementarity of man and woman, the pitfalls of sexual sins and their severity, the proper understanding of one’s sexuality as a gift from God meant to be cherished. The program also spends a significant amount of time dealing with the confusion surrounding the societal burden of the LGBTQ agenda.
  The program reaches its culmination in the fifth week when each student is asked to make a commitment to remain chaste until marriage. This commitment is “sealed” within the context of Mass, where simple gold band rings are blessed and presented to each young person. They are encouraged to wear these rings until their wedding day as a reminder of the “seal” they made before God committing themselves to the Lord by living a life of purity and chastity.

Commitment And Sacrifice

Here is the homily I shared with the young people:
A year after he was elected, Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI issued his first encyclical, or letter. He called it: Deus Caritas Est or God Is Love. I want to talk about what he wrote.
Somehow, we’ve gotten the idea that love is something soft and gooey. But I would point out when we commemorate Good Friday: There’s nothing soft or gooey about the cross.
What is love? First, love is a relationship. Pope Benedict reminds us, “Being Christian is not the result of an ethical choice or a lofty idea, but the encounter with an event, a person.” That person is Jesus Christ!
You and I have “encounters” all the time. Walking, driving, at the store — maybe friendly, maybe not. The point is those aren’t real relationships. A real relationship is demanding. Second, love is a commitment — it’s a lot more than just a feeling! And this is where we discover the cost, the sacrifice involved in love. Every one of us, at some point, makes a commitment, or pays a price, because of love: A friend trusts you with a secret, and you commit to keeping that secret.
A teacher wakes up feeling awful, but still comes to class. An employer keeps a business going, even though he’s losing money. A woman takes vows as a nun, a man as a priest. A man and woman tell each other, “for better or for worse.” Commitment — and eventually, sacrifice: Love always involves this! Too often our society tells us that love is something that “happens” to us — it comes, it goes — and when it goes, we move on.
Every city in America — including North Grosvenor Dale, Pomfret, Putnam, and Danielson — has poverty. Did you know that most poor people in our country are single mothers and their children?
There’s one price we pay for broken commitments. In our families, many of our children see their parents “moving on” from each other to new relationships; they see their parents use them, their children, as weapons against each other! Yes, these things are complicated, and yes we need to have compassion. But let’s acknowledge, as a society, how much damage is done to children because adults fail to love; adults who fail to pay the price of commitment.
My dear parents, there are so many ways we’re failing to love genuinely. I mentioned broken family life and poverty. I would also highlight the many false values coming through TV, music, the Internet. Look at what’s socially acceptable: MTV and Gangster Rap; they target and exploit young people. But it’s the adults who produce it, it’s the adults who profit from it, it’s the adults who let it happen. The result? Children are losing their innocence at younger and younger ages!
And what do the adults do? We give them pills and so-called “protection.” But the promise of “protection” is false; babies are still conceived by counterfeit love, and often, destroyed by “choice.” Even more, these “solutions” don’t protect against the emptiness of being used, or the pain of a broken heart.
My dear young people do not let our messed-up, adult world sell you false ideas about what love is! For one, love is not some vague feeling and true love does not even exist until it takes shape in specific choices and commitments! Look at the physical “grammar” of love. The body is designed to love — and that love, to be genuine, is totally self-emptying; that love, to be authentic, lasts more than a moment; it’s not solitary because it’s not about the self at all!
So often we hear, “I’ll love you tonight,” or “I’ll love you, if” — That’s not love…at all! And this physical “grammar” of love, reaches beyond our physical reality — it touches the very core of our being; it touches our souls! That’s its power!
So, the beauty and power of these physical acts I’m talking about only have meaning with true love in them. So, true love waits — until we are ready for commitment and total self-giving. Physical love finds its meaning in marriage; and because true love is other-oriented, true love is fruitful.
The Church has always taught that marital acts of love must always be open to the possibility of new life. True love does not need “protection”! We can summarize all this in four words: “Love…is…for…life!” So often people will say to me: Father, give us something we can take with us. OK: Your something to take with you today, is to share this message: Love is for life! True love is faithful — for life. And true love waits — until it is ready to commit — for life!
My dear parents, I know your job is hard. Every year, I appreciate a little more just what it cost my father and my mother to keep their commitments to each other, and to the children they brought into the world. This year my parents are celebrating 47 years of true love! A lifetime of commitment, that’s love! And just as I learned that from watching my parents, your children will learn it from watching you!
When we talk about love, both beautiful and costly, it’s fitting that God revealed the fullness of His love through the cross! Every decision Jesus made led Him to the cross; He had choices that could have spared Him. He could have used His power to dazzle or coerce. He could have destroyed them, or He could simply have walked away! But none of those decisions would have been love!
The cross is the inevitable price of love — for God and for us. The mercy of God is wonderful and powerful; but it’s not simplistic. It’s freely offered, an endless fountain, flowing from the cross! It’s powerful; it’s life-changing! But, because it’s love, it’s not soft and gooey; it’s costly; it’s demanding, and it will change us forever!

Wisdom And Courage

My dear young people, in a few moments you will declare your commitment before your parents, before your peers, but more importantly, before God. You will commit to allowing “True Love to Wait” until you’re ready to make the commitment and sacrifice needed to love.
But always remember: God is full of mercy and if we fail in our commitment He is there to lift us up again and to forgive us.
As young people, I pray that you allow the Holy Spirit to lead you in making right choices. Use the gifts of wisdom and courage, the gifts of understanding and counsel, the gifts of knowledge and piety to assist you in making decisions that you face as young adults.
God bless you!