By DEACON MIKE MANNO, JD
On the heels of a report on religious participation (see my November 7 column), the Pew Research Center has released a report, Marriage and Cohabitation in the U.S. It finds that as more and more adults are delaying, or even forgoing, marriage, the share of adults who have lived with an unmarried partner is on the rise, but not by as much as you might expect.
Overall, it found that marriage rates have declined, particularly among younger adults. “Today, 18 percent of adults younger than 30 are married, compared with 31 percent in 1995. Among adults ages 30 to 49 and those 50 and older, 62 percent are married — down somewhat from 1995, when marriage rates for these age groups were 68 percent and 65 percent respectively.”
It found that while the share of adults who are currently married has declined from 58 percent in 1995 to 53 percent today, the share of adults living with unmarried partners has risen from 3 percent to 7 percent, which seems low to me.
Additionally, it found that “married adults are more satisfied with their relationship and more trusting of their partners than those who are cohabiting.”
Young adults, the report says, “are particularly accepting of cohabitation — 78 percent of those ages 18 to 29 say it’s acceptable for an unmarried couple to live together, even if they don’t plan to get married — but majorities across age groups share this view.”
Yet it reports that even those under 30 report, by 45 percent, that “society is better off if couples who want to stay together long-term eventually get married.”
Three-quarters of Catholics (74 percent) — and this is scary — claim it is acceptable for unmarried couples to live together even if they have no plans for marriage. Nine in ten of those who are not affiliated with any religion agree.
“Most married and cohabiting adults cite love and companionship as major reasons why they decided to get married or move in with a partner. But about four in ten cohabiters also say finances and convenience were important factors in their decision: 38 percent say moving in with their partner made sense financially and 37 percent say it was convenient. In comparison, just 13 percent of married adults cite finances and 10 percent cite convenience as major reasons why they decided to get married,” the report says.
Besides finances, about 40 percent claimed not being far enough along in their job or career was reason enough to delay marriage.
A lot of this I’m familiar with: I was the marriage minister in my parish and I dealt with numerous couples who wanted to get married, but were already living together. The main reason they gave was financial, and in most instances they moved in together while planning to get married.
On the other hand, Pew reports that about 25 percent of cohabiters say that cohabitation was a way to test their relationship, a trial marriage, if you will. About 40 percent of cohabiting adults say they want to get married someday and of that group 58 percent say they are “very likely” to marry their current partner, 27 percent say they are “somewhat” likely to marry their partner, and 14 percent say it is “not at all likely” that they will marry their current partner. Of the non-engaged cohabitants 24 percent say they don’t want to get married and another 35 percent aren’t sure about marriage.
Most cohabiters 18 to 44 (64 percent) have lived with only one partner, the survey says; 24 percent have had two such relationships, and 14 percent have had three or more partners. Among those 18 to 44, 77 percent of married couples and 54 percent of cohabiting couples have children under 18. Of those cohabiting adults with children, 19 percent have children from a prior relationship.
The survey also reports that a majority of Americans (59 percent) claim that children can be raised just as well by a cohabiting couple as by a married couple. Catholics are split on this issue with 73 percent of Hispanic Catholics saying cohabiting parents can do just as well raising children while only 48 percent of white Catholics say the same thing.
Politically, 73 percent of Democrats but only 41 percent of Republicans say cohabiting couples can do the same job parenting as married couples.
Overall, 16 percent of men and 17 percent of women say marriage is essential to living a fulfilling life; 54 percent say marriage is important but not essential. Men (57 percent) and women (46 percent) see having a job or career they enjoy as essential for a fulfilling life.
Finally, “Married adults are more satisfied in general with their relationship than are those who are living with a partner,” the Pew report says. “In addition, those who are married are more likely than those who are cohabiting to say they have a great deal of trust in their spouse or partner to be faithful to them, act in their best interest, always tell them the truth, and handle money responsibly,” it says.
And: “About six-in-ten married adults (58 percent) say their relationship is going very well, compared with 41 percent of those living with a partner,” it concludes.
While we’re on the topic of marriage — and we’ve discussed this case before — a web designer who wants to promote traditional marriage is on her way to the Tenth Circuit Court of Appeals after a Colorado federal court refused to enjoin the state from prohibiting her from stating her belief on her web page.
Web designer Lorie Smith, who owns 303 Creative, LLC, wants to expand her web design business to include wedding sites, but as a devoted Christian she does not want to include same-sex weddings. On her own website, she wants to explain her reason, stating, “I love weddings….I firmly believe that God is calling me to this work….So I will not be able to create websites for same-sex marriages or any other marriage that is not between one man and one woman. Doing that would compromise my Christian witness and tell a story about marriage that contradicts God’s true story of marriage — the very story He is calling me to promote.”
Which, of course, pits her against the Colorado law that says: “It is discriminatory practice and unlawful for a person . . . to publish [a notice] that indicates that the full and equal enjoyment of . . . services . . . will be refused.”
Smith was seeking a pre-enforcement ban against the state, which, if you remember, lost its case against the baker in Masterpiece Cakeshop before the U.S. Supreme Court only to come back at the baker, Jack Phillips, for a second bite at the apple (or cake, as the case may be) and lose again.
Anyway, to make a long story short, the district court refused her pre-enforcement request. At one point in the court’s decision it noted that the section that bans her from placing her religious statement on her website is a law of “general applicability, regulating the statements that discriminate against same-sex couples regardless of whether such statements are based on religious or other beliefs,” then went on to try to make the comparison between Lorie Smith’s statement and a “whites only” sign.
The Alliance Defending Freedom is representing 303 Creative and has appealed the case to the Tenth Circuit. We’ll wait and see what happens.
In an unrelated matter, next week is Thanksgiving and I am thankful for Alexander Tschugguel. Who is he, you might ask? He’s one of two who threw the pachamamas into the Tiber. He’s my 2019 hero.
It was going to be Bryce Harper who left the Washington Nationals to join my Philadelphia Phillies. He had 13-year contract for $330 million. I was so excited I ordered the baseball package from Direct TV so I could watch all the games.
The Phillies ended up fourth in their division; only the Marlins were worse. The Nationals? They won the World Series. Some things just don’t turn out as planned.
(You can reach Mike at: DeaconMike@q.com.)
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