By MIKE MANNO
October is that time when you will be assaulted by all sorts of political ads, battling politicians, and the ongoing battle between intra and interstate pigskin rivalries that give cover to fan boasts for the next year. To take our minds off the politicians — never off football — October also gives us the beautiful change of scenery as the fall foliage replaces summer’s growth.
In October we also celebrate Columbus Day — a politically incorrect (not to me) remembrance of an Italian’s discovery of the New World. (Honesty requires me to note that Leif Erikson Day is also celebrated in October, but he only discovered Canada, so no big deal.) National Cat Day is also in October, as is the great pagan (and sugar) feast of Halloween.
But as we enter the month, looking forward to all October has to offer, let us remember one memorial that in our busy lives we might overlook. October 17 is International Pronouns Day, a day that apparently does not get the recognition that it deserves.
According to its website – yes, it has its own website — “International Pronouns Day seeks to make asking, sharing, and respecting personal pronouns commonplace.”
Okay, then it goes on to say, “Referring to people by the pronouns they determine for themselves is basic to human dignity.” Human dignity, Okay, I get that.
Then, it says, “Being referred to by the wrong pronouns particularly affects transgender and gender nonconforming people. Together, we can transform society to celebrate people’s multiple, intersecting identities.” Okay, now I’m confused.
So I went to the website of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender Resource Center at the University of Wisconsin/Milwaukee and got a quick primer on the use of pronouns. It seems, from what I understand, that some people see themselves as “non-binary,” in other words, they are not male or female, but, well let’s just say they’re not.
Thus they want us to use pronouns that fit their circumstance. The Milwaukee website gives examples, so let’s take a common pronoun: he; objective is him, possessive is his, and reflexive is himself. Now take a non-gender specific pronoun: per. It would be objective per; possessive, pers, and reflexive perself. Fun, isn’t it! Take another: xe; xem, xyr, xemself. Now use it in a sentence: Xe ate xyr food because xe was hungry.
Anyway there’s a bunch more and, apparently, we are supposed to know them all so we can ask our non-binary friends which they prefer and use it. I think there might even be a test on October 17; so this is your warning: study hard, do your best, and don’t embarrass yourself on International Pronouns Day. Oh, the website also suggests that we put our pronoun on our business cards and email signatures.
Good idea; that way we can keep up with all this — well, all this.
Fun, right? Well, as a lawyer, I have to remind you that failure to use a person’s designated pronoun may cost you some bucks — big bucks — as it turns out.
In New York City, for example, you can be fined for misuse of pronouns. Bet you think I’m making this up. Don’t bet, it’s true. The city’s human rights law requires employers, landlords, all businesses, and professionals to use the employee’s, tenant’s, customer’s, or client’s preferred name, pronoun, and title regardless of appearance or the sex indicated on the individual’s identification.
That’s because the city says “refusal to use a transgender employee’s preferred name, pronoun, or title may constitute unlawful gender-based harassment.” Civil penalties for gender misuse of pronouns can be as high as $125,000 or $250,000 if the violation is willful.
And this insight is not limited to politicians seeking the support of the gender fluid among us. Now several colleges and universities, such as the University of Minnesota, are claiming the right to discipline, expel, or fire students or staff members who refuse to use an individual’s preferred name, title, or pronoun.
Over the past few years Campus Reform has reported on numerous other institutes of “higher learning” bending to the gender-bending crowd, including:
The University of Michigan advises professors to avoid terms like “ladies and gentlemen” and “your mom and dad.” I guess “yous guys” and “parental units” might work.
Several institutions contain charts offering acceptable pronouns. University of California at Davis listed eight different sets but warned there may be more — how many? — it didn’t say; it’s college, figure it out for yourself. Bryn Mawr in Pennsylvania includes the pronouns: “co,” “kit,” and, interestingly, “it.” I wonder how referring to my professor as “it” would go over?
Bard College in New York warns not to use “gender binary” language and, like many others, publishes a reference chart for students and staff to use. It also publishes a column of frequently asked questions (FAQs), designed to be helpful.
Here’s one question and its answer that I find particularly helpful: “If I ask someone their pronoun once, is that enough?” That’s a tough one, but the guide gives us its enlightened answer. It (not a person now, but the guide) replies, “No, the best practice is to ask regularly because gender identity is not always fixed and static, and some people may change their pronouns.”
I wonder what biology class is like at Bard. I’d have some questions for that teacher; wonder how xem would answer.
Not to be outdone, Champlain College in Vermont, in an effort to become more inclusive for gender nonconforming students, hands out pronoun pins during first year orientation advising of the wearer’s preferred gender pronoun.
Options include “she/her,” “he/him,” “xe/xer,” and “Hello, my pronouns are fluid. Please ask me.”
I used to teach in college. I think I’m taking that off my resume. I have a lot more to say about this subject, but my non-gender specific life mate is calling me for dinner. Per’s dinners are great, per is a good cook even if I say so perself.
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