By CHRISTOPHER MANION
On an early Italian morning in 1975, I had the entire Etruscan Museum in Viterbo to myself. Filled with luscious gold and jewels, it was quiet as a tomb (in fact, a tomb was a major exhibit), until I approached a small office near the entrance. There I thought I heard a familiar voice.
I couldn’t believe my ears. It was Bugs Bunny.
Yes, the security guard was on duty, and he was watching a Bugs Bunny cartoon on a small television set on his desk. He was chuckling, and so was I — the cartoon’s sound track was English, the subtitles were French, and the guard protecting all of these treasures was very, very Italian.
Only in Italy.
I had arrived at a critical moment in the drama. Bugs was in trouble. In fact, he was in mortal danger. His eternal foe, Wile E. Coyote, had him trapped. Bugs had escaped — he thought — by speeding up a tree, but Mr. Coyote had a chain saw and was right on his tail. Bugs kept going higher, but the terrifying music told the tale: He was doomed.
Finally, Bugs ran out of tree. He went out on the last limb, trembling with fear. Wile E. grinned as he sawed off the limb, salivating at his final victory.
But the limb didn’t fall — the tree did, with a crash. Bugs was left there standing on the limb, which hovered magically in midair.
An off-screen announcer’s voice asked, “Pardon me, but isn’t that against the law of gravity?”
“Sorry, Doc,” Bugs replied. “I never studied law.” And he took another bite of his carrot.
This allegory comes to mind when watching congressional Democrats rage at Donald Trump. They’ve never accepted the fact that he won in 2016. They hate him and, with remarkable and vicious candor, they hate his supporters. They even hate the Constitution. Some Democrats vow to eliminate the Electoral College, even the Senate itself, so they will never be bothered by Trump and his detested Deplorables again.
The Mueller investigation was conjured up to make sure that this travesty would not only be stopped, but reversed. The script had already been written. Mueller was their buzz saw, and for two years they assumed their hatred would be justified by his verdict. Like Bugs, they had Trump out on a limb — but this was real life, and they were sure that he, not the tree, would crash.
Then Mueller betrayed them. The most ardent anti-Trump investigative Dream Team imaginable popped the Democrats’ collusion balloon, and suddenly, instead of crushing Donald Trump, the tree fell on them.
They never studied law.
Promises, Platitudes,
And Priorities
At last count, 24 Democrats have entered the race for their party’s 2020 presidential nomination. And that isn’t good news for most of them.
To win the party’s nomination, the candidates must appeal to the voters who will turn out for the primaries, and this year that means HillObama regulars. Since Election Day 2016, the party faithful have been served volley after volley of Trump Hate, but that hasn’t translated into the emergence of an obvious opponent to Trump. Instead, it’s produced a cattle-call for aspirants. And they’re all after the same voters — the party’s hard-core Left, a group that’s notoriously hard to please.
Moreover, each candidate pursuing them has to distinguish himself from the other 23 while advocating the same radical agenda that the other 23 are championing.
“You can’t say you’re a Democrat . . . if you’re against abortion,” brays Cong. Pramila Jayapal (D., Wash.), and the Democrat candidates agree. Joe Biden, who’s been around the longest, has “grown,” as The Washington Post would say. The Catholic Biden once complained that Roe v. Wade “went too far.” He also voted for the Hyde Amendment that barred the use of federal funds for most abortions.
Not anymore. The new, mature Biden, who holds a wide lead in current polls, is trying to act presidential and stay out of the shouting match. That won’t last: Abortion is a high-dollar donor issue that he can’t ignore forever, and pro-abortion groups like Planned Parenthood and NARAL aren’t going to let him.
And neither are the other Democrats. Sen. Cory Booker (D., N.J), known as “Spartacus” after the Kavanaugh hearings, has creatively promised to establish a federal “Office of Reproductive Freedom.”
Sen. Kamala Harris (D., Calif.) goes even further. Her Department of Justice, not the federal courts, will declare pro-life laws unconstitutional.
Now there’s left, and there’s far-left. Vladimir Lenin insisted that “revolutionary” wasn’t enough, one had to be “really revolutionary.” In the 2020 Democrat field, every candidate is solidly left-wing, but some candidates are trying to stake out Lenin’s “real” territory, two in particular: Socialist Bernie Sanders (S., Vt.) and “Fauxcahontas” Elizabeth Warren (D., Mass.), the 1/1024th Indian who made her affirmative-action career as a “minority” for years until she was finally forced to admit that she had been lying all along.
Both Warren and Sanders are vying to capture the vote of the most radical of the party’s leftist voters, and it’s causing a problem. “Warren has been the most progressive senator in the Democratic caucus since she took office in 2013,” reports The Week. In fact, she ranks as “the most left-wing senator since Oregon’s Wayne Lyman Morse, who died in 1974. . . . Sanders is close behind, ranking fourth in the same time period.”
Sanders and Warren are wealthy multimillionaires, but have been the most outspoken candidate critics of “the rich.” Supporters of both fear that the two are splitting the vital “really revolutionary” voting bloc. “[S]surely each was secretly hoping that the other would decide not to run,” The Week reports, but if they want to stop Biden, their supporters are going to have to convince one of them to drop out of the race.
Booker and Harris share a similar problem. While all 24 Democrat candidates ardently woo traditionally Democrat black voters, Harris and Booker would each love to inherit Obama’s mantle as “the” black candidate. Is each “secretly hoping that the other would decide not to run”? Right now, that doesn’t look likely.
The Siren Song Of Sodom
Twenty-three Democrat candidates swoon over the sodomites, of course, one of America’s most powerful and wealthy voting blocs. But none can hold a candle to number twenty-four. Why? Because Pete Buttigieg is “really” sodomite — and on that sordid score he has no competition. More than that, he’s married! Others might cheer homosexual “marriage,” but only Pete can flaunt it, and he does so gaily, daily.
Pete has another advantage: As mayor of my Indiana hometown, he’s been a dismal failure, but he’s made up for it with his specious attacks on Indiana’s former governor, now Vice President Mike Pence. Pete thinks Pence believes in the wrong God. Pete’s smarter than Joe Biden — his logic fails him but at least his sentences parse — so Fake News raves as he pompously slimes Trump and (never forget) Trump’s Christian supporters.
The only thing Pete can’t do to gain even stronger round is to have an abortion. But wait — there’s still a chance. He tells NBC’s Today Show says he and “husband” Chasten want to have kids. Wow, Pete even says that Chasten would be the “perfect father”! So what to do?
Sign up a surrogate mother, right? But — but what if the child (sorry, the “product of conception”) turns out to be not so “wanted” after all? OK, if Chasten is the perfect “dad,” Pete’s the perfect “mom.” Can he kill the baby?
Remember, Pete supports abortion up to birth.
He’s going to need a good lawyer to write that surrogacy contract. But who?
Ruth Bader Ginsburg, call your office.
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