By JAMES K. FITZPATRICK
I have no idea if Jeff Foxworthy is displeased with all the take-offs on his popular “You might be a redneck if . . . ” one-liners that float around the Internet. The versions that I see most often are entitled something like “You might be a liberal if . . .”, or “You might be a Democrat if . . .”
Perhaps Foxworthy likes the publicity. Or he could resent the manner in which political views that may not be his own are linked to him. I can’t imagine that Foxworthy would want to alienate half the people of the United States. His digs at working-class Southerners, found in his best-selling books and standup comedy act, are apolitical and good-natured.
I’ll give you a few examples:
“If you’ve ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.”
“You may be a redneck if . . . your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.”
“You may be a redneck if . . . you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.”
“If you’ve ever financed a tattoo, you might be a redneck.”
“If the gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot, you might be a redneck.”
“If you think the French Riviera is foreign car, you might be a redneck.”
“If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriend’s name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.”
All in good fun, the sort of thing that even a self-identified redneck would enjoy, unless I miss my guess.
The take-offs on liberals, not written by Foxworthy, can be pretty funny, too. Here are a few, author unknown:
“If you can get arrested for hunting or fishing without a license, but not for entering and remaining in the country illegally — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.”
“If you have to get your parents’ permission to go on a field trip or to take an aspirin in school, but not to get an abortion — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.”
“If you must show your identification to board an airplane, cash a check, buy liquor, or check out a library book and rent a video, but not to vote for who runs the government — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.”
“If hard work and success are met with higher taxes and more government regulation and intrusion, while not working is rewarded with Food Stamps, WIC checks, Medicaid benefits, subsidized housing, and free cell phones — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.”
I have often wondered how liberals react when they see these postings on the Internet. No one likes to be laughed at. My guess is that they would see most of the mockery as a cheap shot, contending, for example, that poor people genuinely need the government assistance afforded to them by the modern welfare state, and that the abortion and birth control counseling given to high school students involves a uniquely private part of life from which even the parents of these students may need to be excluded. I can accept that liberals may be sincere in taking these positions — apart from how objectionable these positions are.
But I find it hard to accept that they are sincere when they protest that the wisecracks about their objection to voter IDs is unfair. I can’t help but think that they are being disingenuous when the protest that voter IDs are unnecessary because “there is no evidence of widespread voter fraud.”
Perhaps “disingenuous” is too strong a word. I am not saying that large numbers of liberal Democrats are involved in deliberate schemes to register the deceased or illegal aliens on Election Day. I can’t prove that.
But I am saying that Democrats who are not politically naive know that there is significant voter fraud taking place in the United States, but are willing to live with it to protect the Democratic Party’s “get-out-the-vote” drives on Election Day, which voter IDs would severely weaken. What they are not willing to admit in public is that they are willing to accept that trade-off.
Democrats are proud of these efforts to get people to the polls, pointing out that many of the poor, the elderly, and minorities live in a manner that makes it difficult for them to get their hands on the documentation that middle-class American citizens take for granted: drivers’ licenses, marriage licenses, birth certificates, and rent receipts. They see Voter IDs in the same category.
Liberal activists contend that many of these individuals would find it a struggle to do the paperwork to get voter IDs, and that there is a likelihood that they would be unable to produce their ID card on Election Day, even if they had one.
This means that Democratic Party volunteers on Election Day would come to the nursing home, to the senior citizen center, to the church soup kitchen, to the public housing community center, and find large numbers of eligible voters who were unable to vote that day because of a missing or lost voter ID card. Liberal Democrats maintain it is wrong to deny these citizens their right to vote because of that technicality.
This is what leads Democratic Party activists to mislead the rest of us. They know that illegal immigrants and partisan wheeler-dealers will find it easier to vote when there are no voter ID cards, but are willing to live with that reality rather than deny the vote to the eligible voters who will not be able to produce a voter ID if it is demanded of them.
Is there any merit to their argument? How many votes from illegal aliens would you be willing to accept, rather than create a scenario where large numbers of the poor, the elderly, and those on the margins of society are unable to vote on Election Day? One illegal for every 100 elderly and disadvantaged? One for every 1000? What if there are five times as many illegals who are able to vote because there are no voter IDs, as there are poor and elderly people who are denied the vote because of their missing IDs?
Liberal Democrats keep repeating that there is “no evidence of significant voter fraud,” rather than tell us how they answer the above question — as if repeating the line makes it so.
In 2012, the Pew Foundation conducted a study which found that:
“Approximately 24 million — one of every eight — voter registrations in the United States are no longer valid or are significantly inaccurate. More than 1.8 million deceased individuals are listed as voters. Approximately 2.75 million people have registrations in more than one state.”
What the Pew Foundation discovered does not tell us whether anyone is using all those invalid registrations to commit voter fraud. The recently established Trump administration’s Commission on Voter Fraud is seeking to find out the answer to that question.
For my part, I would be willing to live with a handful of illegal aliens and Democratic partisans casting illegal votes, rather than disenfranchise elderly and minority voters because of missing IDs. But I am not willing to accept Democrat Party operatives finding ways to cast thousands of illegal votes, especially in key electoral districts.
That so many Democrats are resisting the Trump Commission’s demands for the data that will help us find out if that is happening says a lot.
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