By FR. KEVIN M. CUSICK
In the words of Lorenzo Cardinal Baldisseri, the October 5-19 Extraordinary Synod of Bishops in Rome is on the family, and not divorce. Cardinal Baldisseri serves as the secretary general of the Synod of Bishops.
Why, one might ask, if the Church is compassionate, does not the Church in this synod focus first on those with an obvious need for compassion and loving-kindness, such as broken families who suffer from the continuing effects of divorce, single parenthood, and civil remarriage? And one might well answer that the Church does what she does precisely because she is compassionate. You see, being around other sick does not help the sick get healthier; that’s why one of the worst places for a sick person to be is in the hospital.
In a guest commentary on Cruxnow.com, Mark Brumley, president of Ignatius Press, the primary English-language publisher of Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI’s writings, had this to say:
“Like so many others labeled ‘conservative,’ I want change, not the status quo. But not just any change. Not change that makes things worse. Not change that compromises the full truth of marriage and family. Not change that undercuts rather than strengthens discipleship. Not change that seems like a throwback to bad, failed ideas of the 1970s-1990s, ideas that helped create the problem, and which are only now beginning to be exorcised from Church structures and programs.”
It’s a fact of existence that if you want to get healthier and stronger you focus on health and build strength. This is accomplished by associating with and surrounding oneself with healthy people and situations rather than seeking out the company of the sick, lame, and lazy.
Wounded and broken families sometimes live in estrangement from the Body of Christ because they cannot receive Communion after civil remarriage or because the family cannot afford to use the parish school for financial reasons. Existing tragedy is compounded when divorced couples and single parents distance themselves from parish life and faithful families. In doing so they are rejecting an opportunity to heal and find new strength for the future. True compassion helps those who need healing to seek out authentic sources for that.
When I was young I discerned a pattern on the part of my parents’ choice of friends; they gravitated toward intact, practicing Catholic families. They did so because they wanted to grow as an intact practicing Catholic family. This principle applies to every person and can be demonstrated by the success of such groups as AA and other self-help groups that are formed by persons who share experience with a particular addiction but also share a strong desire to overcome and to live free of addiction.
Catholics who have suffered divorce and are living as single parents can only benefit from taking an active part in Catholic parish and social life. By choosing to pursue friendships within the Catholic parish, provided by social activities, they have regular contact with families and relationships for parents and children to emulate.
Priests and Catholic faithful are committed in Christ to acceptance and solidarity with families broken by divorce and burdened by the duties of single parenthood. Burdens are lessened by sharing them within disinterested friendships. Catholic parish and community life provides such healthy and Christian friendships within the setting of faith, a win-win situation for all in building up the Body of Christ.
All of our families are very busy today as they seek diverse opportunities for their children to flourish and grow as human beings whether academically, in sports, music, or any number of various fields of endeavor. One of the tasks of pastors and those who collaborate with them in parishes is to convince parents that children cannot flourish and grow without ongoing opportunities for growth.
Brumley, also in the Cruxnow.com article, recommends a book for priests and parishioners for better focus on the right kind of change needed in Church ministry to all of our families — change that does not settle for a status quo ante.
“In the book The Gospel of the Family, the authors, Fr. Juan José Pérez-Soba and Dr. Stephan Kampowski, underscore the transformative power of the gospel on marriage and family life. They want a full engagement of the gospel’s power, which they believe hasn’t been happening in the Catholic Church. That’s hardly status quo.
“As [George] Cardinal Pell writes in his foreword, the Church must provide ‘lifeboats for those who have been shipwrecked by divorce’ but the Church must also direct people to a safe port, not toward the rocks or the marshes. And the Church should provide leadership and good maps to reduce the number of shipwrecks to begin with. Again, no status quo.”
Certainly, parish reading and study of books like this can be one aspect of better outreach and evangelization of all of our families going forward in the days following the synod.
Thank you for reading. Praised be Jesus Christ, now and forever.
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(Follow Fr. Cusick on Facebook at Reverendo Padre-Kevin Michael Cusick and on Twitter @MCITLFrAphorism. He blogs at APriestLife.blogspot.com and mcitl.blogspot.com and you can email him at mcitl.blogspot.com@gmail.com.)
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