Q. We know that Our Blessed Lady was assumed body and soul into Heaven at the end of her life, but what about St. Joseph? Has the Church ever proclaimed that he was taken bodily to Heaven? — F.A., Massachusetts.
A. There is no official statement by the Church that St. Joseph was taken to Heaven body and soul, but it is not unreasonable to think that he might have been. One of the reasons why we think that Mary was assumed into Heaven is the lack of relics of her body or a burial place or shrine that is honored as her resting place. But the same is true of Joseph. We don’t know exactly when he died, but it was surely sometime between the finding of Jesus in the Temple at age 12 and when our Lord began His public life at age 30. Yet there is no evidence of his tomb.
Is it reasonable to think that Jesus would have wanted to be reunited with the entire Holy Family in Heaven? One saint who thought so was St. Francis de Sales, who said: “How could we doubt that Our Lord raised glorious St. Joseph up into Heaven, body and soul? For he had the honor and grace of carrying Him so often in his blessed arms, arms in which Our Lord took so much pleasure. St. Joseph is therefore in Heaven, body and soul, without a doubt.”
Q. My pastor wrote the enclosed article in our parish bulletin about Amoris Laetitia, and I don’t know if he is accurate. He seems to have a different opinion from Basil Cardinal Cupich. What am I to do when my pastor says one thing, and the cardinal says another? — Name Withheld, Illinois.
A. Since your pastor based his column on long-held Church teaching, citing the words of Jesus, St. Paul, Pope St. John Paul II, and the Catechism of the Catholic Church, rather than on the statements of Cardinal Cupich, you should side with your pastor in this case. The following excerpts from your pastor’s column are worthy of support:
“Briefly put . . . it seems that Amoris Laetitia is allowing for those who were sacramentally married, civilly divorced, then married again and sexually active (which is the sin of adultery), to receive Holy Communion, even though the consistent teaching of Holy Mother Church has said that they may not receive Holy Communion.
“This is a very serious matter. For it appears that the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony is being weakened significantly. If the matter is not corrected, we will be dealing with the acceptance of sin as an approved condition in a person’s life. This, of course, should not be promoted by any Catholic, especially those who have teaching authority in the Church. As I have mentioned in previous articles, sin blocks the graces present in the sacraments. Therefore, a true pastor (actually any baptized Catholic) helps people out of their sinful state. It is not merciful to allow a person to live in the condition of sin. . . .
“St. Paul [1 Cor. 11:27-29] makes it very clear that we should not receive Holy Communion in the state of sin. The notion that some cardinals and bishops around the world believe that Amoris Laetitia is giving permission to give Holy Communion to those civilly married couples who engage in adulterous relations is a very serious distortion of the Catholic Faith. In my opinion, I believe a grave sin is being committed by those in a teaching position who lead the faithful astray in such a way….
“In closing, please pray for Pope Francis and the leaders of our Church that this matter gets resolved quickly. Again, the Pope is trying to be merciful, but mercy and acceptance of sin are not compatible.”
Q. Can a Pope grant a special dispensation to a Catholic lady to marry a divorced man? What are the ways to get a special dispensation and from whom and what? — M.G., Alabama.
A. No, a Pope cannot dispense a Catholic lady so that she can marry a divorced man. That would be giving permission for a Catholic to enter into an adulterous union, which is forbidden by the Sixth Commandment and by Jesus Himself.
A dispensation is a relaxation of the Church’s law in a particular case for good reason. Church law (cf. canon 1108) says that for a Catholic to marry validly, the marriage must be contracted before a priest and two witnesses. This is the canonical form of marriage. So if a baptized Catholic wants to marry a baptized non-Catholic (this is known as a “mixed marriage”), permission must be obtained from the bishop of the Catholic party or of the place where the marriage is being celebrated. If a Catholic wants to marry an unbaptized person (this is known as “disparity of cult”), the bishop’s permission is also required.
Dispensations will only be granted if there are serious obstacles to observance of canonical form, such as danger of a civil marriage or defection from the faith. Furthermore, the Catholic party must declare that he or she is prepared to remove the dangers of leaving Catholicism, and must promise to do everything possible to have any children baptized and raised in the faith. The non-Catholic party must be informed of the Catholic party’s promises, and both parties must be instructed about the ends and essential properties of marriage.
Q. I know we are obligated to forgive those who trespass against us, but must we still forgive even when that person has not asked us to forgive, and he or she continues to trespass against us? — G.B., Florida.
A. Yes, difficult though it may be to understand, we must forgive even those persons who have not asked for forgiveness and who continue to trespass against us. When Peter asked Jesus how many times he should forgive a person and thought he was being generous in suggesting seven times, the Lord replied, “I say to you, not seven times but seventy-seven times” (Matt. 18:21-22). Another translation says “seventy times seven times.”
In other words, there is no limit to the times when we are to extend forgiveness. Jesus did not add unless the person has not asked for forgiveness, or unless he stops trespassing against us. He also warned that “if you do not forgive others, neither will your heavenly Father forgive your transgressions” (Matt. 6:15).
The Lord does not ask us to do anything that He did not do first. When He was hanging on the cross and the onlookers were mocking and blaspheming Him, Christ said, “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). He could have struck His tormentors dead, but instead He asked His Father to forgive them, just as He asks us to forgive even our enemies. He also said that “blessed are you who when they insult you and persecute you and utter every kind of evil against you [falsely] because of me. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward will be great in heaven” (Matt. 5:10-12).
Extending forgiveness to another does not mean that we will forget about the injury to us. “It is not in our power not to feel or forget an offense,” says the Catechism; “but the heart that offers itself to the Holy Spirit turns injury into compassion and purifies the memory in transforming the hurt into intercession” (n. 2843).
Forgiving one’s enemies, the Catechism continues, transfigures the disciple “by configuring him to his Master. Forgiveness is a highpoint of Christian prayer; only hearts attuned to God’s compassion can receive the gift of prayer. Forgiveness also bears witness that, in our world, love is stronger than sin” (n. 2844).
On the night in 1984 that Wilma Derksen learned that her 13-year-old daughter had been murdered, a stranger came to her house and said that the murder of his own child had ruined his health, his relationships, his ability to work; all he could think of was not his child, but the murder, the trauma, and the hate that followed.
After the stranger left, Wilma wrote in the March issue of Magnificat, she and her husband Cliff decided to follow a different path — “the path of forgiveness. Little did I know that the word ‘forgiveness’ would haunt me for the next thirty years — prod me, guide me, heal me, label me, enlighten me, imprison me, free me, and, in the end, define me.”
She wrote that “for me, forgiving has been about turning what has happened to us into good. Forgiveness is not just a one-off event, nor does it mean that you’re doing the same thing again and again. The issues of Candace’s murder present themselves differently every day. Forgiveness is a fresh, ongoing, ever-present position of the mind which takes on many different forms. It’s a promise of what we want to do.”
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