Restoring The Sacred . . . The Complementarity Of Man And Woman In The Spiritual Life

By JAMES MONTI

In the Book of Genesis, we read, “Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make a helper fit for him’” (Gen. 2:18). These words herald God’s creation of Eve from the side of Adam. From the very beginning God intended that man and woman should cooperate with each other, should complement each other, in accomplishing His designs.
Of course the supreme manifestation of that cooperation and complementarity between man and woman is the Sacrament of Marriage by which man and woman cooperate with God in the very act of creation itself, bringing new human life into existence as the fruit of their union and their love.
But the complementarity between man and woman appears in a myriad of other aspects of life, most importantly in the spiritual life. The annals of the saints are filled with famous collaborations of this sort: St. Francis of Assisi and St. Clare, St. John of the Cross and St. Teresa of Avila, and St. Francis de Sales and St. Jane Frances de Chantal, among others. St. John Bosco was greatly assisted by his mother, Venerable Margaret Occhiena Bosco (+1856), in the founding of the Salesian congregation.
And who can forget that incident both moving and quite amusing regarding St. Benedict and his sister St. Scholastica, when at the end of a day spent together at Scholastica’s convent, they fell into a typical man-versus-woman disagreement?
Benedict, in his manly practicality, insisted that he had to return to his monastery, as it was night. Scholastica, in her sisterly affection not wanting her brother to leave so soon, begged him to stay and converse with her about the things of Heaven. When he refused to heed her, she clasped her hands in prayer, put her head down and pleaded for divine intervention. Her prayer was swiftly answered, for a violent thunderstorm quickly arose, making it impossible for Benedict to leave. Hearing the thunder, Benedict exclaimed, “May God forgive you, sister. What is it you have done?” Scholastica replied, “Behold, I asked you, but you refused to hear me. I asked my Lord, and He has heard me” (Pope St. Gregory, Dialogues, book 2, chapter 34).
Cooperation among the saints has even transcended the bounds of time and eternity: Thus St. John Vianney had frequent recourse to the virgin martyr of ancient Rome, St. Philomena, attributing all sorts of favors to her intercession.
In the Church’s missionary labors, the collaboration between man and woman according to each one’s distinctive role can be readily seen. The missionary priests have preached the Gospel and administered the sacraments, while missionary nuns have taught the faith to the children and have borne witness to the Gospel by their care of the sick.
In his address to the June 2015 Sacra Liturgia USA conference in New York, His Excellency Archbishop Salvatore Cordileone spoke movingly of how nuptial imagery fills the entire life of the Church, for marriage is the ultimate symbol of the union between Christ and His Church.
Reflecting upon the archbishop’s insight, we see for example the way that many spiritual writers describe the relationship between the soul of a believer and Christ in nuptial terms, with the highest state of prayer, the “prayer of union” being dubbed “the mystical marriage.” This analogy works particularly well in the case of consecrated women, wherein they can readily be seen as brides of Christ, with the Lord as their Divine Bridegroom.
Over the centuries women saints have both experienced and expressed this nuptial imagery in very feminine ways, from St. Catherine of Siena’s vision of receiving a wedding ring from Christ to St. Therese of Lisieux’s composition of a “wedding invitation” for the occasion of her religious profession as a Discalced Carmelite.
Some women’s religious congregations, especially from the late 17th century onward, have observed the custom of having a novice about to take her vows wear a wedding gown for the first part of the ceremony. Is it any wonder that so many of the great expositors of the special devotions to our Lord, specifically the devotions to the Sacred Heart of Jesus and the Divine Mercy, have been consecrated women — most notably St. Gertrude, St. Margaret Mary Alacoque, and St. Faustina?
Male saints, priests and religious have for their part in one way or other, according to their vocation, mirrored the images of Christ the Divine Bridegroom and St. Joseph the chaste Spouse of the Blessed Virgin Mary. For centuries the episcopal ring worn by a bishop has been understood as a symbolic “wedding ring” reminding him that he has taken the Church as his bride. Even the parish priest, as an alter Christus, perceives himself as “married” to the Church, with his parishioners as his spiritual children.
Our Lady’s most ardent champions have so often been men — from St. John of Damascus and St. Bernard to St. Alphonsus Liguori, St. Louis Marie de Montfort, and St. Maximilian Kolbe. They speak of her with the language of a medieval knight or troubadour proclaiming the praises of his beloved. We see this for example in the following amorous words of St. Alphonsus Liguori addressed to the Blessed Virgin in his book, The Glories of Mary:
“In fine, O sovereign Princess, from the immense ocean of thy beauty the beauty and grace of all creatures flowed forth as rivers. The sea learnt to curl its waves, and to wave its crystal waters from thy golden hair, which gracefully floated over thy shoulders and ivory neck….The morning-star itself, and the sweet star of night, are sparks from thy beautiful eyes…a multitude of stars crown her brow, and, emulating one with another, bind her locks together, and form upon her head a diadem of precious gems” (The Glories of Mary, 1868 edition, pp. 667-668).
The Jesuit spiritual writer Fr. Paul de Jaegher (+1958), in his masterpiece The Virtue of Trust, is no less expressive in his love for the Queen of Heaven:
“Were I truly to love Mary with all my soul, only to think of her, the mere sight of whom, indescribably lovely, holy and perfect as she is, enraptures me — would that not in itself be supreme happiness?” (1932 edition, chapter 21, p. 242).
The Spaniard Venerable Miguel Jeronimo Carmelo of the Mercedarian Order (+1558) is said to have experienced several visions of the Blessed Virgin, as movingly portrayed in a painting of the Baroque master Jerónimo Jacinto de Espinosa (+1667). As the painting likewise shows, Fray Carmelo in the course of composing a commentary on the Song of Solomon, upon citing the verse, “You are all fair, my love; there is no flaw in you” (Song 4:7), added the comment, “It is certainly true, and I have seen it.”

The Queen Of Heaven

If on the one hand the influence that woman has over man led to utter disaster in the Garden of Eden, that influence when exercised by a holy woman faithful to God can lead a man to Heaven. Reflection upon the immaculate purity and spiritual loveliness of the Blessed Virgin Mary has always served as an extremely powerful weapon in preserving a man’s purity.
And likewise the virgin saints, as little mirrors of the virginal purity of our Lady, both by their example and their intercession, collaborate with our Lady in keeping the heart pure and the mind clean. As a teenager the future Carmelite Venerable Maria Teresa (Teresita) Quevedo (1930-1950) composed as her motto the petition, “Mother, grant that everyone who looks at me may see you.”
Hence in times of temptation the remembrance of the all-beautiful Queen of Heaven and the other holy virgins “who follow the Lamb wherever he goes” (Rev. 14:4) will quickly drive out the fetid stench of lust. In our society which is saturated with foul and degrading images of women, and rampant immodesty in dress, it is all the more needful that every Catholic home should have holy pictures and statues of our Lady and the virgin saints.
Also, the myth that it is “manly” to be promiscuous must be dispelled once and for all. Chastity is a very manly virtue — there is perhaps no greater manifestation of a man’s virility than that of being in command and control of his passions, rather than yielding to them.
In his profoundly Christian and final music drama Parsifal, the composer Richard Wagner portrays the innocent young knight Parsifal as gaining victory over the demonic villain Klingsor and recovering the stolen relic of the Holy Lance of Christ precisely by manfully resisting the allurements of the temptress Kundry, who in turn is converted by his unassailable purity.
Thus young women, rather than admiring the pleasure-craving “hunks” that the secular world worships, should see as their true “knights in shining armor” men who fit the mold of genuine Catholic manhood, like the chaste young layman Blessed Pier-Giorgio Frassati (1901-1925).
“So God created man in his own image…male and female he created them…it was very good” (Gen. 1:27, 31). Yes, O Lord, it is very good indeed!