Catholic Replies
Q. My husband of sixty years was called to the Lord six months ago, and a friend told me about Gregorian Masses that can be said by priests in Canada and Spain for thirty days for the souls in Purgatory, but they cost several hundred dollars. Do you have any information about whom to contact in the United States for this purpose? — S.G., New York.
A. First of all, our prayers and condolences for your loss. Gregorian Masses go back to Pope St. Gregory the Great (590-604), who obtained the release from Purgatory of the soul of a deceased monk after offering Masses for him for thirty days. There are organizations and religious orders in this country that will offer these Masses for a donation that ranges from $150 to $300. But may we suggest that you seek the release of your husband’s soul from Purgatory, if he is in Purgatory, by making a plenary indulgence for him, which won’t cost anything.
A plenary indulgence, which removes all temporal punishment attached to forgiven sins, can be obtained for ourselves or for a soul in Purgatory. Here are the conditions:
We must be free from all attachment to sin ourselves, even venial sin.
We must receive Holy Communion on the day that we seek the indulgence.
We must go to Confession at least twenty days before or after we seek the indulgence.
We must pray an Our Father, Hail Mary, and Glory Be to the Father for the intentions of the Holy Father.
What are some devotions that can help us gain a plenary indulgence? Making the Stations of the Cross, praying the rosary with a group of people, spending half an hour in adoration of our Eucharistic Lord, reading the Bible devoutly for half an hour, and reciting the Litany of St. Joseph.
There are also certain days when a plenary indulgence is available, such as the Feast of Divine Mercy, which is April 24 this year.
Q. What are the Church’s rules regarding a baptized Catholic being married outside the Church by a Protestant minister or by a public official who is not a Catholic? What is the Church’s teaching about a Catholic attending such a wedding? — W.K., via e-mail.
A. As we have noted in the past, canon 1108 of the Code of Canon Law says that a Catholic party can contract a valid marriage only in the presence of a Catholic bishop, priest, or deacon, who as the official witness of the Church must ask for and receive the consent of the parties in the name of the Church, and two other witnesses, whose function is to attest to the civil authorities that the marriage actually took place. However, canon 1127.2 says that the local bishop can grant a dispensation from the canonical form “if serious difficulties pose an obstacle to the observance of the canonical form.”
Examples of serious difficulties would include obtaining parental approval of the marriage, avoiding the non-Catholic party’s estrangement from family or religious denomination, recognizing the special relationship or friendship with a non-Catholic minister, and considering the particular importance of the church to the non-Catholic party.
So, if the baptized Catholic in question has obtained a dispensation from his or her bishop to marry outside the Church, even before a justice of the peace, then the marriage would be valid.
(Did anyone ever wonder why these same conditions are not imposed on the Catholic party? For example, shouldn’t the approval of Catholic parents be a consideration? And shouldn’t the Catholic Church be of particular importance to the Catholic party? Why the concern for the sensibilities of non-Catholics but not Catholics? It would be interesting to know how many Catholics practice their faith after being dispensed from canonical form.)
If no dispensation is obtained, should a Catholic attend the wedding? There are two schools of thought on this matter. One school says yes in order to avoid hurt feelings and to keep family ties intact. The other school says no because one’s attendance would give bad example by pretending that it is no big deal to violate the teachings of Jesus and His Church.
We are well aware of the family pressures to attend such a ceremony, having been through them ourselves when we declined to participate. We know that there could be hurt feelings, but you need to explain that, while you love the Catholic party, you love Jesus more, and you don’t want to do anything that would harm your relationship with God.
There is something wrong with a scenario where those who abide by the teachings of Christ and His Church are the bad guys, while those who violate these teachings are the good guys. Didn’t Jesus say that if we are not with Him, we are against Him? Do you want to stand before the Lord on Judgment Day and try to justify your actions by saying that you didn’t want to injure relations in the family?
Keeping peace in the family at the expense of following the Gospel is a false peace, one that might never compel the couple to come to grips with the danger of losing their eternal salvation. Our Lord spoke out against this kind of false peace when He said:
“Do not think that I have come to bring peace upon the earth. I have come to bring not peace but the sword. For I have come to set / a man against his father, / a daughter against her mother, / and a daughter-in-law against her / mother-in-law; / and one’s enemies will be those of his household.’ / Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and whoever does not take up his cross and follow me is not worthy of me” (Matt. 10:34-37).
Yes, this is a hard teaching, but better pain and hard feelings now than for all eternity. The Church’s answer in these situations is to pray constantly for the invalidly married couple, keep the lines of communication open to them, and encourage them to have their invalid marriage blessed in the Church. Taking this stand will not be easy, but Jesus never promised His faithful followers a rose garden. In fact, He said that we, like Him, would have crosses to carry in this life, but there will be a great reward for fidelity to Him.
Q. Why do bishops, cardinals, and the Pope stay silent when so-called Catholics like President Biden and Speaker Pelosi celebrate the killing of babies by abortion? Or when Biden buys Russian oil when the profits can be used to kill Ukrainians? Or when he and others allow cartels to send drugs across our southern border that killed more than 100,000 Americans in 2021? Boo to those in charge of these policies. — D.L.M., Iowa.
A. We would suggest a stronger word than “boo.” How about “anathema”? How long would these policies continue, do you think, if Catholic Church leaders were united in denouncing them? But what message was sent by Wilton Cardinal Gregory when he went to the White House and gave the president ashes on Ash Wednesday? This enabled Biden to parade around all that day showing everyone what a “devout Catholic” he was. Anathema!
Q. A local Catholic radio station plays loud background music in many of their broadcasts that makes it difficult to hear what is being said or prayed. I don’t want to complain because the station does a great job. What should I do? — J.E.S., Indiana.
A. You should write to the station, compliment them on their programming, and mention your concerns. Perhaps others feel the same way as you do, but the station won’t do anything unless it hears from its listeners.
