Have you ever thought about how much of our lives is spent preparing for important moments? We prepare for graduations, weddings, the birth of children, and retirement. We plan, seek advice, and consider what will be needed when the day arrives. Yet there is one moment every person will face, and we often hesitate to prepare for it. The moment of death.
In our previous reflection, we considered the Four Last Things: Death, Judgment, Heaven, and Hell. These truths invite a practical question: How does a Catholic prepare to leave this world?
The Catholic Tradition speaks of the “ars moriendi,” the art of dying well. Its wisdom begins with something simple: preparing for death means learning to live in friendship with Jesus Christ. We prepare to meet the Lord by approaching Him today.
Learning To Live Before Learning To Die
The psalmist asks God to teach us to number our days so that we may acquire wisdom of heart (Ps. [89] 90:12). Remembering that our lives are limited can clarify our priorities. The resentment we have carried for years begins to look different. The confession we keep postponing becomes more urgent. The people we take for granted become more precious.
How often do we say, “Someday”? Someday I will return to Mass. Someday I will forgive my brother. Someday I will begin praying seriously. But holiness grows through the grace God gives us today, not someday!
Preparing for death begins with ordinary faithfulness: Sunday Mass, daily prayer, regular confession, works of mercy, and the willingness to begin again after falling. These habits teach the heart to turn toward Christ. When our strength eventually diminishes, we will already know the One upon whom we depend.
Call The Priest Early
One practical message deserves to be heard in every Catholic home: When someone becomes seriously ill, call the priest! Don’t wait! Families sometimes hesitate because they fear that inviting a priest will frighten their loved one.
I remember, as a fire chaplain, riding along on an ambulance call one day and scaring an elderly woman because I was there. Picture this scenario: I was waiting in the back of the ambulance as a dear woman was being rolled into it. As she opened her eyes and looked up, there I was sitting right by her head. She began yelling that she must be dying because the priest was there.
Others believe that Anointing of the Sick belongs only to the final moments of life. The Church teaches otherwise. The Sacrament of Anointing of the Sick is appropriate when a member of the faithful begins to be in danger of death because of sickness or old age. It may also be repeated when serious illness returns or the person’s condition worsens (Catechism of the Catholic Church [CCC], nn. 1514–1515).
Please do not wait until the person can no longer speak or swallow. Calling early might allow time for confession, conscious participation in the prayers, and reception of Viaticum: the last Holy Communion. A priest’s visit brings the Church’s prayer and Christ’s sacramental care into the experience of illness. It is an act of hope.
The Mercy Of Confession
Serious illness can bring old memories to the surface. A person might remember sins, damaged relationships, or years spent away from the Church. What seemed safely buried may suddenly weigh heavily upon the heart. In these moments, Christ invites us to bring those burdens to Him. In the Sacrament of Reconciliation, we confess our sins and receive His forgiveness through the ministry of the priest.
There is no need to prepare an impressive speech. Begin honestly: “Father, I need to make my confession.” Perhaps it has been many years. Perhaps you do not remember every prayer. Perhaps embarrassment has kept you away. The priest can help guide you through your confession, do not be afraid, come anyway. The Good Thief could not rewrite his past. He could, however, turn toward Jesus. His plea for remembrance received the promise of paradise (Luke 23:42–43). That encounter should encourage every troubled conscience to seek mercy while there is time.
Strengthened Through Anointing
The Letter of St. James instructs the sick to summon the presbyters of the Church, who will pray over them and anoint them in the Lord’s name (Jas. 5:14–15). Through Anointing of the Sick, Christ gives grace suited to the suffering person’s condition. The sacrament offers spiritual strength, peace, and courage. It unites the sick person more closely with Christ’s Passion. It also brings forgiveness of sins if the person could not obtain it through Penance, due to being unconscious, and may bring bodily healing if this serves spiritual salvation (CCC, nn. 1520–1523).
We should receive these gifts with gratitude. Illness can make a person feel helpless or forgotten. Anointing proclaims that this person remains a member of Christ’s Body, surrounded by the Church’s love. Even when healing does not come as we hoped, the Lord remains present. Our weakness never makes us worthless.
Viaticum: Christ For The Journey
As death approaches, the Church offers the Eucharist as Viaticum: food for the journey. The same Jesus who nourished Christians throughout life now strengthens that person for the passage through death. The Catechism connects this final reception of Communion with the promise of eternal life and resurrection (CCC, nn. 1524–1525). Our Lord teaches that those who eat His flesh and drink His blood have eternal life and will be raised on the last day (John 6:54).
Consider the tenderness of this gift. At a time when earthly possessions must be surrendered, Christ gives Himself. When familiar surroundings begin to fade, Christ remains. This is another reason to contact the parish promptly. Whenever possible, the dying should have the opportunity to receive the Eucharist while still able to do so.
The Apostolic Pardon
Catholics should also know about the Apostolic Pardon, an apostolic blessing with an attached plenary indulgence offered at the approach of death. This gift concerns the remission of temporal punishment due to sins whose guilt has already been forgiven. It is distinct from sacramental absolution and requires the proper disposition. Families may ask the priest about it when arranging pastoral care.
The Church’s provision expresses her desire to assist her children with the spiritual treasures entrusted to her through Christ. Here we see a mother’s care. The Church accompanies her children toward eternity.
The Family’s Ministry Of Presence
Families have a sacred role during these difficult moments as death draws near. Sitting beside the bed. Holding a hand. Speaking gently and assuring our loved ones they are not alone. Pray familiar prayers slowly. A decade of the Rosary, the Our Father, or a brief passage of Scripture can help a suffering person turn toward God. Allow silence, too. Someone approaching death might have little energy for conversation. Loving presence can communicate what many words cannot.
There might also be an opportunity to say what should have been said long ago: “I love you.” “Thank you.” “Please forgive me.” “I forgive you.” These words can become precious gifts. Respect the person’s wishes and strength. Prayer should accompany the dying with tenderness. The family’s task is to help create an atmosphere in which the person knows that he is loved, supported, and entrusted to God.
Fear Does Not Mean Faith Has Failed
Some faithful Catholics fear death. They worry about pain, separation, or the loved one they will leave behind. Such fears deserve compassion. Jesus Himself experienced profound anguish in Gethsemane, bringing His suffering before the Father in prayer (Matt. 26:36–39). We can do the same: “Lord, I am afraid. Help me trust you.”
A good death does not require an appearance of perfect composure. A person may struggle, weep, or feel overwhelmed while still reaching toward Christ. Nor does a sudden death mean that someone failed spiritually. We cannot control every circumstance of our final hour. We can cultivate trust, seek the sacraments, and entrust ourselves and our loved ones to God’s loving mercy.
Preparing Begins Now
Speak with your family about your desire for Catholic sacramental care. Make sure they know to contact the parish when serious illness arises. Then return to the daily work of loving God and neighbor. Make a good confession. Offer the apology. Visit the lonely person. Pray with your family. Receive Christ worthily. These choices prepare the heart for its final surrender.
Jesus tells His disciples, “Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid” (John 14:27). His peace rests upon His presence and His victory over death.
The art of dying well begins in that friendship. When our earthly pilgrimage ends, may we turn toward the Savior whom we have learned to love and say, with the confidence of children coming home: “Jesus, I trust in you.”
