Beacon Of Light… The Fourth Commandment: God’s Divine Plan
By FR. RICHARD D. BRETON JR.
(Editor’s Note: Fr. Richard D. Breton Jr. is a priest of the Diocese of Norwich, Conn. He is currently the parochial vicar of St. Andrew Parish in Colchester and St. Francis of Assisi Parish in Lebanon. He received his BA in religious studies and his MA in dogmatic theology from Holy Apostles College and Seminary in Cromwell, Conn.)
- + + Greetings in the Lord Jesus Christ! How are we doing on our daily examination of conscience? Are we taking 10-15 minutes daily to examine ourselves in word and deed? I know this experience has enhanced my own prayer life. It has also assisted me in my relationship with God and others.
Today we will transition from the Commandments that relate directly to God, and, will now focus on relationships with our neighbors.
By making this transition, we must keep in mind the basis of the three previous Commandments pertaining to God. They are the foundation as we move forward. First, we must know how to love the Lord Our God, then, we can focus on loving others.
Today we focus on the Fourth Commandment which is: “Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother.” All of us have a father and a mother. In the divine plan of salvation, God willed that man and woman be participants in the procreation of children. This sacred action is the motivation behind living the Fourth Commandment and calls us to respect and revere our father and mother.
How do we fail in honoring our father and our mothers, and, how do other actions contribute to this Commandment? When we are born our parents care for us by helping us to grow. From a very early age, we are provided with food, clothing, and a place to live. Throughout our lives, parents try their best to provide for their children.
I am reminded of all the times my parents drove me to events and participated in my life. My parents also had to discipline me at times, like all parents do. I know I was not a perfect child — just ask my mother! My parents taught me the lessons I needed to succeed in life.
In the same way, when our parents become aged, we must provide and care for them in the same way. Children are responsible for the care and well-being of their aging parents.
Neglect Of The Elderly
Sadly, this is often a struggle. I remember a woman who was in a nursing home and was never visited by her children. When the woman got old her children sold her house and put her in a nursing home. Her children never were part of her life as she journeyed toward death. Even after her death, the children didn’t even attend the funeral. This is a violation of the Fourth Commandment.
Children are a gift from God and children enhance the life of husband and wife. Ask any married couple about the first moments of their child’s life and you will hear of the joy experienced as they looked upon their gift from God. Soon the cherished moments of new birth are replaced by the challenges of parenting.
Today’s society makes parenting even more challenging. I pray daily for parents to have the strength and courage needed in raising today’s children. Parents need to be parents! Children today need a firm hand and a loving heart to guide them. Sometimes children show serious disrespect or disobedience to parents, superiors, or authorities. This disobedience is a failure in living the Fourth Commandment.
Today’s children are surrounded by a culture that denies being held accountable for our actions. Currently we see this in the dysfunction of family life. Children no longer have respect for and dignity toward their parents. Children are looking for parents to be their friends, when parents are meant to guide and lead us. Often children will express such despair that includes wishing death or evil on their parents. This anger or despair is not always properly directed. Society has distorted the very fabric of family life and this distortion causes much confusion in our young people. The wishing of evil or death on our parents is a violation of the Fourth Commandment.
When I was in high school, my parents decided to become foster parents. They felt a call to be a haven for children needing a loving home. Soon one child turned into six foster children and, eventually, they were all adopted. All of my brothers and sisters have felt the consequences of abuse and neglect caused by their birth parents. Some of the consequences of this parental neglect included malnutrition, learning disabilities, delayed physical, mental, and emotional development.
Sadly, some of my adopted siblings even endured the evil of sexual abuse by their birth parents. The neglecting or abusing of children by parents, or anyone for that matter, is a grave evil. Parents have a moral obligation to provide for the safety and well-being of their children. This includes, but is not limited to, education, clothing, food, and a safe place to live. As we examine our conscience, especially in this area of family life, I ask all parents to seriously look at how they have succeeded or failed in living their responsibility.
Parents are the primary educators in the ways of the faith. As primary educators, parents must baptize their children within a reasonable amount of time after Baptism. Baptism opens the door of faith and establishes an intimate relationship with God. In Baptism parents promise to train their children in the ways of the faith. Failure to baptize their children is a violation of this Commandment. Today there is a growing number of parents who do not educate their children in the faith.
After Baptism, parents must continue to educate their children. The Church can help in this responsibility by providing Catholic schools. Catholic schools provide the best education for our children. Parents would be assisted in this responsibility by using our Catholic schools. A Catholic education teaches lifelong lessons. Faith, morality, and love of God are some of the way’s children are formed by having the opportunity of a Catholic education.
If parents cannot afford a Catholic school then every parish provides religious education as a way of helping to teach the faith. Besides the Catholic schools and religious education, parents must pray with their children and teach them their prayers. The reason why the family is being destroyed in society is that families don’t pray together anymore. Parents fail the Fourth Commandment if they do not educate children in the faith.
None of us want to think about the death of a parent, but it is part of the human condition. The death of our parents will occur. Sometimes the sadness of grief may cloud our judgment as we mourn a parent. Every deceased person has the right to leave a last will and testament to help carry out their wishes. Sometimes death can cause many feuds among the children left behind. As children of our parents, we are required to fulfill their dying wishes.
Recently, I heard of a situation when after their mother died, two children were left to settle their mother’s estate. This situation has turned into a battle that will most likely need to be resolved by a court. This situation saddens me because it causes such division among families. This is so common among families. Failure to carry out the last will of deceased parents is a violation of this Commandment. Sometimes we forget how much our parents do for us in our lives. Even in death we need to honor thy father and thy mother.
Another area where this Commandment is often overlooked is dealing with people in authority. Today we are living in a society of people focused on a “me” mentality. There is no more respect for authority. We have watched this unfold before our eyes in many of our major cities. Riots and violence and the call to defund the police are a failure in living this Commandment.
Authority is necessary in society to keep a rule of law. We are facing a potential perpetual disrespect of authority figures, if the riots and violence are not dealt with. There is no need to imagine anymore what it would look like with total disrespect for authority; we are living it now! Failure to respect and obey authority is a failure of the Fourth Commandment.
May we close this week’s column with a prayer to the Holy Spirit asking for the grace we need to examine our conscience: O Holy Spirit come in thy mercy; enlighten my mind and strengthen my will that I may know my sins, humbly confess them, and sincerely amend my life. Amen!