Matrimony: The Longest Job I’ve Ever Had
By JOE SIXPACK
A Polish noblewoman, Katherine Jagiellonka, was the wife of Prince John Waza of Sweden. Prince John was imprisoned for life by his brother, King Eric. Katherine hurried to Stockholm immediately upon hearing of her husband’s imprisonment.
“Your Highness, put me in prison with my husband,” she pleaded.
The king replied, “But don’t you know your husband will never see daylight again?”
“I know, Your Highness, but whether he’s innocent or guilty, John Waza will forever by my husband.”
The king looked on her with pity. “It seems to me, dear lady, that from the moment your husband began his deserved sentence, your obligations to him ended.”
Katherine took the ring from her finger, handing it to the king, “Would Your Highness please read the inscription?”
The king read, “Mors Sola” (Death Alone). Katherine spent 17 years in prison with her husband, until the death of King Eric, which is when she and Prince John were set free.
We live in a disposable culture where marriage is considered just as disposable as the wrapper on your fast food burger. Fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce, and there are a number of contributing factors for the failure of these marriages. Not least among those factors is the culture of “ME.” We have become a very selfish, self-centered people. Sure, we are all about other people, especially our family . . . as long as the things they need or want don’t conflict with what we want or what we perceive we need.
The problem comes when the needs of our spouse conflict with what we want. Princess Katherine obviously had a good and healthy view of the selfless love needed in marriage, and that can come only through the sacramental graces of Holy Matrimony — the sacrament instituted by Christ which unites for life a baptized man and a baptized woman for the purposes of fulfilling their lawful responsibilities to God.
God instituted matrimony in the Garden of Eden, when He created Adam and Eve. Before the coming of Christ, matrimony was a sacred contract, but not a sacrament. Jesus raised matrimony to the level of a sacrament. Jesus taught the indissolubility of marriage (Matt. 19:6), and this requires supernatural help (grace). (BTW, thanks to the indissoluble marriage bond, being married is the longest job I’ve ever had!)
St. Paul compares Christian marriage to the permanent union between Christ and His Church (cf. Eph. 5:22-23) and stresses its importance, reinforcing the sacramental character of matrimony. Also, early Christian writers refer to Christian marriage as something supernatural, which confers grace upon those who receive it. At the marriage feast at Cana, Christ worked His first public miracle on behalf of the married couple, thus manifesting the holiness of the married state. In the marriage covenant, God has made a natural relation a means of grace for Christians.
People lose sight of what marriage is for, what it’s all about. True marriage has a twofold purpose: unity and procreation. By unity we mean that the bond of the Sacrament of Matrimony lasts until death, and that the man and woman are to live together as one (Matt. 19:5-6). By procreation we mean the begetting and rearing of children in the fear and love of God. In short, the twofold purpose of marriage is the giving of love and the giving of life.
There is yet another dimension to Christian marriage. As a natural extension of the giving of love, God gives spouses all the graces necessary to help one another grow in holiness, thus obeying Christ’s command for us to become holy (Matt. 5:48). Just as children produced in the matrimonial bond are a manifestation of marital love, so too is the positive response to God’s graces by the parents to help their children become holy a manifestation of that love.
Matrimony is the most unique of all the seven sacraments in the sense of administration. In six of the sacraments, the minister is ordinarily a third party; that is, a bishop, priest, or deacon. In Matrimony, however, the ministers of the sacrament are the bride and groom themselves. Each confers the sacrament on the other, in the presence of a priest or deacon, who is there as the Church’s witnesses to verify that a permanent bond is made.
The topic of Matrimony can easily fill a book. In fact, there are a number of very good Catholic books available on the theology surrounding marriage (check out Ignatius Press), so there is no way we can even begin to cover anything beyond the bare bones of the sacrament here. There are just two other things I want to touch on.
The Right Reasons
It must be understood that one cannot validly enter into marriage with the intention of not having children, because procreation is one of the primary purposes of marriage, as given by God. This doesn’t mean Catholic couples are obliged to have as many children as possible, but it does mean they are to act in a responsible manner in bringing children into the world and rearing them well. Included in this responsibility is the recognition that the procreation of children is one of the fundamental purposes of marriage. This means that abortion and artificial birth control are forbidden by God and the Church.
The use of artificial contraception goes back to the culture of “ME.” We will cover this topic extensively in numerous articles in the future, but for now I’d just like to point out that we may never avoid having children for selfish motives. For example, you may have the choice between having a baby or getting a new truck. Guess which one wins? You may have a choice between a new house in a nicer neighborhood or having another baby. Guess which one wins?
There are several very sure means of natural family planning that are endorsed by the Church, provided they are used for the right reasons. Yes, we’ll be talking about them over time. (NB: I’m of the personal opinion that pro-life Catholics who use contraceptives are living a life of hypocrisy, since all chemical artificial contraceptives are proven to be abortifacients.)
The last thing I want to comment on is something that is very much in the news today. The homosexual lobby has been successfully pushing the false idea that homosexual couples can be married. Is it possible for a dog to become a cat? No, it’s simply unnatural. If you saw a dog acting like a cat you would see it as a disordered aberration, and you’d be right. It is likewise a disordered aberration for two people of the same sex to be married, just as it is disordered for two people of the same sex to think it is okay to have a conjugal relationship.
I can and do empathize with people who suffer from the disorder of same-sex attraction, as I’ve worked with several over the years who eventually converted to Catholicism and lived chastely. But the point is, the same-sex marriage movement threatens mankind’s very existence on Earth today. Read the nineteenth chapter of Genesis to see why.
If you have a question or comment you can reach out to me through the “Ask Joe” page of JoeSixpackAnswers.com, or you can email me at Joe@CantankerousCatholic.com.
Hey, how would you like to see things like this article every week in your parish bulletin as an insert? You or your pastor can learn more about how to do that by emailing me at Joe@CantankerousCatholic.com.
